Expectations vs. Reality

einstein quoteSuch a strange time lately for all of us. It’s hard to get a handle on what is really happening in the world or what we wish would instead happen, because it is all so complicated now—collective living, that is.

Relationships are complicated. Associations are complicated. Life is complicated.

Even for the individual, most would say that life rarely turns out like you expect that it will. Life more often turns out like it simply does—for better or for worse. People come and go in your life: some you care deeply about, others maybe not so much. They cycle in and out of your awareness and concern. Sometimes you have a choice in the matter and other times, you don’t. That’s just how it is—that’s LIFE, you say.

Your circle of influence and relationship expands and contracts throughout your lifespan, while you learn the joys, as well as the pain, of loving and caring about the welfare of others besides yourself.

Throughout this process, eventually we all learn that life is an endless loop of give and take, come and go, want and don’t want. We learn to accept the veiled aspects of uncertainty and change in everything we do, as we adjust our sights on putting our next foot forward from wherever we are presently located.

In a state of confusion you might have even asked yourself, “Where do I go from here?” To which I would question, “Well, where are you at present, and where have you previously been?” Those are two answers you will need to first know before setting off in a new direction.

Some would say that we can view our lives as that “play the hand you were dealt” thing, but in another sense we choose the cards we add or subtract from our hands during the entire game. So we all make choices along the way. Often the winning hands are the results of making good choices. The best card players are those who learn quickly from previous mistakes so they aren’t repeated.

And no matter what we expect to happen in our lives as the result of our efforts, we also know threality dogat sometimes those expectations just don’t materialize in quite the way that we had imagined or had hoped that they would.

That’s called the difference between expectations and reality. What it implies is that reality disappoints and seldom meets your unrealistic expectations.

What it should actually mean is that perhaps your expectations were based on fantasy and improbability, or perhaps even that the Powers that Be had something else in mind for you, because REALITY is not what it seems to be.

Reality is far from REAL. So it is pretty hard for you to have expectations of something that is a momentary collective consensus opinion, and is not set in stone like we often think that it is.

Reality is a perception. Reality is also a frequency with which we align ourselves and resonate.

What that means is that IF you shifted your frequency higher than your present ability to perceive “reality,” you would likely view a different reality. That’s the entire point of the anticipated collective frequency-shift higher: We will be participating in a different collective reality, and hopefully one less fear-based and more love-frequency focused.

Is that collective frequency-shift to a higher plain simply another unrealistic expectation—is it fantasy-based?

Not in my reality, because I can already feel it happening.

How about in yours?

Inbrain what world do you wish to live: a world of fear-mongers and hatred-spewers, or a compassionate loving place where people care about and help, rather than hurt, each other?

To me, it’s a no-brainer that I prefer the loving place, but it has to be a collective effort to hold the frequency of that world for everyone. I can hold it for me, but I can’t do it for you. That’s something you will have to choose for yourself.

I choose a love-based reality over a fantasy expectation of it, because I CAN also choose the reality that I live in, so I hold that higher-frequency in my thoughts and actions.

What thoughts will you hold today? Which reality do you choose?

The Lone Star in the Sky

Either sounds like I’m writing about 2000 year-old Christmas-based astronomy or Texas, when actually I’m just noting what I saw early this morning when I looked out my upstairs window: a lone star in the sklone stary.

The most amazing part of this personal observation was that only seeing one bright light in the darkness of the night didn’t mean that there weren’t others out there. It just meant one star was all that I could see at this time due to cloud cover overhead.

Of course, that simple realization then led to philosophical thoughts on awareness and perception and things that most folks could truly care less about this time of year, but hey, …they matter to me. So there you go.

It’s that “just because you can’t see it, doesn’t mean it isn’t there” thing, which can apply to just about any subject, from racism to mental illness to Spirit—it just depends on your focus.

My present focus is on our perceptual fallibility and humanity’s shifting awareness. Does this mean that staring out the window at 5am is something more philosophically deep than simply seeing a single light in the night sky prior to dawn? No, but it could mean that because first and foremost, perception depends on the perceiver.

Life is metaphor: pure and sweet, bitter and tart. So, how does this “seeing a lone star” metaphor apply to you?

Well, turn and face that imaginary mirror in front of you and then ask yourself, what are YOU looking for in your life? How open to simply observing everything occurring without judgment, are YOU? What does whatever you see “mean” to you? How do you interpret every little sensory stimulus? Is it good for you? Is it bad? How do you know which it is? On what are you basing those instant decisions?

Yes, …one little light in the sky set all of that into motion for me, primarily because this is the time of year when we do some serious reflection on our past year and set some high-hopes for the future one ahead—both personal and collective reflections and hopes.

So seeing that one little light out there in the darkness, but realizing that there are actually millions of little lights beyond my current perceptual awareness of what I am seeing, contributed to an instant question in my mind on whether I viewed this past year—2014—as a “good” year for me or a “bad” year.

That thought then evolved into how CAN I judge the year as good or bad if I can’t even see all the stars out there, or should I even try to do so?

Well, sure, there are incidents and loses that I can directly see and still adversely feel from the past year, but there are other “unseen” influences at work or in progress that I may not presently recognize. That does not mean that some event or process isn’t already at work in some way for my betterment, it just means that at present, I’m not seeing them.

My point (finally) is: No matter what you are feeling right now, even if you look back at this past year of your life and say, “Wow—this year really sucked!”

Or if you reflected back on this past year thinking that nothing good came from any endeavor that you attempted during this past year; it is far more likely that somewhere in the unseen world behind our conscious awareness, spiritual progress and spiritual evolvement were happening for our betterment in some way.

It is also likely that social and cultural evolvement and advancement are in progress for us all. But at present, we are having a little trouble seeing through the density of the cloud cover.

That doesn’t mean it isn’t there. That doesn’t mean it isn’t happening. It just means that sometimes we can’t see and know all the behind-the-scene maneuverings Spirit may have in the works for us until those changes manifest in forms too obvious for our limited perceptions to miss.

Personally, I think 20152015 will be a very important year for all of us. So let’s all set our intentions for it to be that way, knowing that intentions precede manifestation.

Here is wishing all of you peace, love, and light for the coming year ahead, topped in whipped cream, with God’s finest blessings to you and yours.

Hello “2015”—together we can make it a good year!

When Good Things Happen to Bad People, …. Or Was It Vice-Versa?

Whoa…that’s not supposed to happen is it? Good things happening to bad people?

The largest problem that I see with the statement, let alone the actual happenstance, is with the judgment calls in both directions, and in determining who sits in the decision-making seat on any of it.

It can be so tempting to plop ourselves into that weighty chair and swing that resounding gavel for “Justice and The American Way,” but, “alas poor Yorick,” I’m certain I did not know any of them well enough for that, no matter who the person might be.

People are simply people, with challenges and reactions to whatever each may face in life, from birth onwards.

Some may come into this plane with generous talents and ripe opportunities to express them.

Others may struggle from that first breath onwards—trying to survive, trying to stay alive, trying to make sense of a continued life of senselessness at every life stage. And the most amazing thing about some of those folks is that a few of them actually do survive, do stay alive, and do make a type of sense of any predicament in which they may find themselves.

But it’s also likely that a few other folks will not agree with the conclusion drawn from that life of senselessness, unless it involves overcoming the perceived life-difficulty and attaining a greater sense of higher purpose and collective benefit from it.

Hence we throw around the good vs. bad labels when it comes to people and what they do with their time and their lives.

A society functions under a recognized set of rules for order and sustainability. We have law makers, law enforcers, and law arbitrators. We have judges, prosecutors and defenders, and place to put away those who don’t live within the established rules.

But which ones are good and which ones are bad in any of those categories?hang that chad

Gosh, if you listened to political ads this time of year, it’s a wonder any of us are still alive to think about it because the entire rule-making and enforcing establishment is bad, …or is it good that the other bad choices for governance are less bad, which makes them more good?

I don’t know. I’m so confused. I just know that Election Day can’t come soon enough to end this non-stop nonsense before I wear out the mute button on my TV’s remote control.

Is that a good thing?

Proving Our Worth or Worthiness

Worth and worthiness are similar yet different, but why you would have to prove either of them is far more interesting.

Worth implies “value”—such as, what is your value to a company, to a situation, to others near you, or even to yourself?

But worthiness implies “deserve-ability”—how much do you deserve to be valued?

The latter consideration is far more subjective and judgmental, than actuamoney rolll.

For instance, let’s say you are in late-stages of hiring consideration for a particular job. Despite how negotiable you might believe your future salary to be, Human Resources in most companies have already defined the payment range allowed for that particular job title in that region of the country. They already know what they expect and are willing to pay for that new hire.

When a company considers hiring new staff for any position within that company, HR and management already have a pay-grade allowance defined for the next hire, and they usually hire low on the scale, rather than high. To be offered additional incentives beyond that pre-existing financial determination would be unusual and denote extraordinary circumstances to “merit” such consideration.

At that point, they would go beyond considering your “worth” to the company. They would also consider your worthiness to be given special consideration and additional financial rewards. What makes YOU so special that you deserve that additional financial consideration?

In this situation, to the hiring company your worthiness of special consideration then trumps your recognized worth to them.

What does it mean to you?

Well, beyond all the management-speak above, it may mean your “special consideration” depends on how well you can sell yourself and your abilities to deliver what that company most wants and needs from you.

Or it might mean how extensive and substantial your track record for doing the job already is.

Or it might even mean how much do you value yourself and your time that you might consider selling your efforts for less than you know that you deserve?

In general, women tend to undervalue themselves, and men tend to overvalue themselves. So it often comes down to self-respect and self-appreciation issues within the person. HR departments are well aware of women’s more vulnerable self-value issues.

That doesn’t mean that any candidate is unworthy of special consideration, but it does mean that their “worthiness” to the company is dependent on a number of factors including self-appreciation issues.

In relationships, it plays out in a different way. Consider your significant other or friend to be like the HR manager of the hiring company. Throughout the duration of your relationship they are assessing you for your worth and worthiness to be associated with them, but here, your worth means your value to them—how they consider you in relation to filling their personal needs and wants.

But your worthiness in this situation is not really theirs to consider, it is totally dependent on you!

In a relationship with anyone, you should not have to sell yourself—you should simply have to BE YOURSELF.

Likewise, track-records mean little to nothing in relationships because the choice is yours to learn from your previous mistakes or to continue making them. Just don’t expect a different result if you keep making the same mistakes.

The self-appreciation aspect is absolutely KEY in any relationship, because if you don’t value yourself and support yourself in whatever endeavor you do undertake, then don’t expect the other person to pick up the slack and indefinitely keep feeding your neediness for external support. It just won’t happen. Emotional support neediness gets old fast in any relationship.

If you can’t fully believe in yourself and respect yourself despite your perceived imperfections, don’t expect anyone else to do so. That’s not how the world works and it’s not how you are meant to function.

You have to be your own best friend and your most ardent supporter, whether it is in the workplace, in the classroom, or in the home. Your true self-worth and worthiness are never in doubt. You deserve the best possible life and the best possible friends and close associations. Don’t settle for less than that.

Believe in yopraph quoteourself—value yourself. If others aren’t yet seeing your worth to them, then it is THEIR blindness, because your true value is already established.

But if you doubt your “worthiness” to be loved and valued by others, then that’s totally on you not them.

Then it isn’t their blindness that you need to be concerned with. It’s your own.

Embracing Change, …Or Not

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Strange dream last night: I’m working with a group in an ad agency (one of my many careers was as a Graphic Artist), and we have this defined space for our “stuff” including wall décor and paintings above our areas—sort of our own individual territories within the building that we were located. This was a nice layout—better than any I had actually experienced when working.

The scene shifts to suddenly adding new people, and a truckload of “their stuff” comes in forcing the rest of us (maybe 3 or 4 others) into smaller, more compact spaces on the other side of the building—allowing the NEW folks to have the best layouts with great outside views that we all used to have.

As this scene morphs, I’m watching a new woman of tremendous natural, artistic talent paint a 3’ x 4’ mural instantly, with such precision and confidence that I am mystified at her skill and eye-hand control. I am so awestruck at her abilities that I tell her how amazing her work is, while she looks at me like “Who are you?”

I then wake up and wonder what on earth was that about?

As I’m just lying there staring at the ceiling, it starts to dawn on me that it was all about the ability to embrace change and to recognize that it wasn’t about me individually at all. It wasn’t about my losses or possible injustices due to new mergers or new management, or even being in competition with new talent and creative ideas that weren’t “mine,” or to stew in the natural resentments and jealousy that those situations often fester.

It was all about the ability to embrace change instantly and just “go with it” recognizing that sometimes things happen for the betterment of everyone even if it doesn’t feel that way at the time. From a management view, perhaps new bodies and new juices were needed to kick-start a new direction or to create the climate necessary for a fresh perspective on the company’s purpose.

Clearly, the decision to add new people was above my decision-making grade in the dream and the only thing I could do in the situation was either accept the change quickly in that environment or resent it, fight it, and make myself miserable over it. Or I might have simply left to do my own thing, with all the tremendous change required in that process.

But one way or another it was about the ability to embrace change; and we do so not only to survive, but to thrive. Change is who we are from infancy onwards. None of us are the same height and weight as when we were born. Nor do we have the same reasoning ability and vocabulary.

Change happened or we would all still be noisy little bundles of flesh with dirty diapers—totally dependent on others for our sustenance, welfare and safety. We changed by growing into adult beings who could likewise create those little packages.

So change is not unfamiliar to us, but it isn’t always recognized as being such an integral aspect of the human experience, when it actually is.

Look at the electronics revolution over the last two decades: As a Graphic Artmac 512kist I started with a Mac 512k that took a start-up floppy and a program floppy to operate it. Now, Apple burps out a new system every 6 months and folks line up for days to spend hundreds of dollars (yet again) on the latest and supposedly greatest.

Change may not always seem for the better, but it is change none the less. It just is, and it will continue to be change tomorrow and the day after that.

So try not to fight all that change. Learn to embrace it, allowing it to work for your advantage by showing you a new way of being and doing, and a new perspective on life than you ever thought was possible, if you can simply let yourself change.

Stop all the grimacing and tightening yourself into knots at the very thought of it. Change happens. Let it. Look for the added value of change in your life—embrace the fresh start opportunity to see life again as you once did for the very first time—an adventure to explore where you might be stumbling forward in unsteady steps, but you’re feeling full of excitement and wonder at the mysteries lurking just beyond your chubby fingertips.

Reach out for change. It’s happening whether you accept it or not.

Dismissing the Energies of Confusion, Fear, and Discontent

I was trying to label this latest world-wide, strange energy concoction, because being engulfed in it has me restraining my own combativeness to everything said and done, including some rather unattractive tendencies toward snarliness—much like that tiger in the boat sort of thing.

The nearest explanation I can manage for what is happening to us would be that we are imbibing a strange energy cocktail of confusion, disconflaming cocktailstent, and fear—served on-the-rocks or straight-up—your choice.

It isn’t necessary to cite the most well-known reasons for the unpleasant concoction— if you listen to news anywhere, you are well aware of them. Not to mention it is “political ad season” where slime absolutely drips from the TV screen amid this teeter-tottering, mud-slinging of who is the worst-possible-choice for deciding our future fates.

Astrologically, Tom Lescher, my main astrology guru-guy says it’s all there, mapped out in the heavens: We are getting exactly the very planetary influences that create these feelings of upheaval and roller-coaster emotions for the next two weeks. For those of us more energy sensitive, this latest world-wide mess is way beyond unpleasant. It is explosive—a real test of our highest intention and determination to be unaffected by it all.

I often remind my REIKI students that as they become more energy sensitive, they don’t just feel the awesomeness of the higher-frequencies more—they also become more aware of the opposite energy directions. That’s why as your own frequency rises, it is even harder to be around negative people and unpleasant situations. They pull you down.

It is true that if you can hold your own center and your own frequency high enough and strongly enough for longer periods of time, you can be a positive influence on others simply by being near them, as you help to raise their energy frequencies by your proximity to their energy fields.

But if you can’t hold your own frequency high and keep it there, then negative people and nasty situations can adversely affect your own ability to remain unaffected by them. Even as experienced as I am with situations like these, and as much as I intentionally recharge myself throughout the day to keep my frequency high, it is still difficult to maintain a more positive vibe when this much downer-energy is trying to sink us.

What’s the solution to this bad energy dilemma?dove and lotus

Well, first of all, don’t give in—and don’t give up! Keep raising your frequency as high as you can lift it, staying focused on what you DO want in your life, not on what you don’t. Meditate in a peaceful location and ground yourself into the earth before raising your consciousness ever higher, so that you don’t just lift your own self and your own consciousness as you meditate—you also help to collectively lift us all.

I imagine that is why there are so many of us on the planet at present—we need the numbers right now. We need active participants in creating a better world. We need strong, unified intentions for peace and well-being for everyone. And we need to hold those intentions in a higher frequency than fear can ever hope to touch.

We need you! We need you to say, “Not on my watch, fear! I hold my energies high for peaceful resolutions to conflicts and a better life for everyone.”

Peace and stability may not be the world that you are seeing at present, but it is the world you are actively calling into manifestation with your higher consciousness efforts.

We are far more powerful than we ever believed ourselves to be, and NOW is the time to simply BE IT. BE the Peace. Hold your frequency high and strong, for all of us.

Ripples of Awareness—the TRUST-ability Factor

autumn ripples in pondLike many of you, at times my life has been a puzzle to me. Even now I can’t say that I understand all the details of what is happening in my present life, but I do have some basic ideas about it and I do trust that the Universe (including my own Higher Self) will provide the best possible learning situations for me—which is the WHY aspect that my life happens the way it does.

Actually, TRUST itself is a funny thing. It’s one of those immeasurable, emotive qualities of the human experience. Naiveté was one of my early vulnerabilities that took some difficult encounters to shake that child-like, blind-trust in others out of my system.

It’s not because I’ve become a cynic, but because I’m more realistic now than I was earlier in my life, so I no longer naively expect other people to have my best interests in mind, despite what they might say (i. e., the political ad season). If anything, I expect them to put their own personal agendas first and foremost, because that’s how most people are, even when they pretend to be otherwise.

Yet oddly enough, I do trust Spirit’s highest intentions for me, because trust is one of those things that time either builds or destroys. Time has built my trust in Spirit’s behind-the-scenes, string-pulling and scene-staging, but it has also lessened my trust in the integrity of human intentions and actions.

Over the course of my 30-year, standard work life where I was once a labor-union negotiator, as well as later being a management supervisor, it has shown me the many motivating facets of human interaction from both sides of the negotiating table. Those two perspectives were often very different, but the personal motives behind them were usually similar: People always want the best they can get for their efforts and their money. They just have different ways of interpreting what that means.

I’ve found that most people will always do what they feel is in their own best interests, no matter the situation, even if they are consciously unaware of their own motives for doing so. While some people may have the purest of intentions and normally have the highest ethical standards of conduct, that doesn’t always translate into the purest possible actions because in this Earth-classroom arena, personal-action integrity is quite rare.

I think it is a very unusual person who is so psychologically in-tune with every aspect of what s/he does and why s/he does it, that the person recognizes their own information-filtration biases and automatic responses to whatever life presents to them in each moment.

We can all have the best intentions to be the very best people ever to exist, and then…..life happens, difficulties add up, and patience runs short. We simply react defensively, protectively, and in self-preservation.

We think of ourselves first. That is just how we are programmed to survive. That’s who we are as a species (Homo sapiens) that has successfully evolved for the last 100,000 plus years—by self-preservation over any other concern.

That’s why from a realistic standpoint, I really do trust people to be themselves, and I trust also that they will have their own agendas somewhere in the mix no matter what they might say to counter it. It might be blatantly displayed in the foreground of the conversation or it might be subconsciously concealed if only from themselves, but it’s there, because that’s how we are wired as a species.

So, I can say again, that I do implicitly trust Spirit and my Higher Self to provide the very experience that I will need to best grow my awareness and to further expand my consciousness. But it’s also true that I trust people to simply be people, myself included—full of imperfections and conflicting signals, but doing their best to survive any situation for their own betterment. True selflessness is a genuinely rare trait in a world based on 100,000 years of a species’ survival adaptations. You’ll find it once in awhile, but not often.

With that consideration in mind, it may be easier to trust in ourselves and our own intuitive sensors looking out for our best welfare, rather than relying on the integrity of others, because we have the most to gain or lose in the process.