Agent of Chaos

Sure, I could easily be talking about our Chief Executive Officer of the USA—certainly nobody does chaos like he does, but actually I was referring to our kitten/cat/Tasmanian 20170609_131620 (1).jpgDevil that magically appeared on our front step about 2.5 months ago.

I don’t mean to be discriminatory about orange, tiger-stripe cats here but since I’ve had a large number of cats and kittens in my life, including two previous ginger-striped ones, I knew that seeing this tiny, starving, max shoe.jpgmonth-old baby at the door was likely going to be quite a ride if we kept him because the other two little tigers had been in leagues of their own for terrorizing everyone around them, including the other cats and dogs.

But how can you turn away a gift from Spirit like that? We just couldn’t.

I named him Max—short for Maxim the Great. He’s very entertaining, very challenging, and he’s very, very naughty.

max eyes (1).jpgWhen a kitten holds eye contact with you to the extent that Max did at the start, I knew he was pretty intelligent, and would soon learn how to push all our buttons.

He’s going to be a big guy from the looks of his over-sized paws to his ever-lengthening legs and tail.

He’s also a real toughie who doesn’t back down from a good rough-housing until you’ve called the truce, not him. After the first week, he walked around here like he owned the place and we were merely his servants. I know most cats do that, but he’s worse—he’s a max eyes (2).jpgbiter—he enforces his own rules. I can trim his nails weekly but I can’t trim his teeth.  The only thing that presently saves us from blood scabs all over our arms and legs is using a water squirt-bottle on him when he bites or locking him in time-out for awhile.

Clearly we’d forgotten how good-mannered our last inside adult cats had been until Max reminded us of the difference between him and them. No plants are safe now, nor is any small object that can be pilfered from fewer and fewer locations that remain outside his leaping abilities.

The house is a mass of toys to distract him, boxes and beds to house him, and towels and blankets on all furniture to prevent him from shredding them—with his teeth, no less.

He has brought chaos into our previously quiet and stagnant lives.

max me.jpgI mean I’m trying to type this one-handed at times because he insists on being the middle of whatever I am doing; and it’s so rare when he’s loving and huggable, that you make allowances to accommodate him because Tasmanian Max is a terror of “epic proportions, unlike the world has ever seen before,” to quote the earlier mentioned agent of chaos that our nation/the world must presently endure.

I wonder if water squirt-bottles and time-outs would work with him? Someone should try it.

Anyway, I keep reminding myself that kittens go though behavior stages and soon enough he will be fat and lazy like most adult cats become. We simply have to survive the 1st-year growth phase. In the meantime, I also recognize Spirit’s metaphor on agents of chaos shaking things up in stagnant environments.

Let’s hope the nation and the world survives the large “orange one’s” insanity because I’m pretty sure he won’t outgrow it.

But as the vet said to give us hope for the future, “Neutering might help.”max on afgan.jpg

Me, Against the World

me world.jpgI had someone say this to me once—something to the effect that I acted like it was ‘me, against the world.’

“So?” I asked him back, “You mean it isn’t?”

While I might be able to laugh about it now, he likely had a point that I couldn’t see at the time. However, he also didn’t live in my skin back then to know how the world and everyone in it actually appeared to me.

I think all of us have lived through difficulties either of our own making or we’ve been the recipients of the attempted manipulations or the ill will of others. Yes, there are some genuinely nice, caring people in the world—I do know some, but at the time, they either weren’t in my circle of intimacy or they had stepped back and decided it was up to me to sink or swim by myself.

Back then I felt that I had been betrayed by the people I had called my friends—that I’d even been abandoned by those I cared most about; that they left me to survive alone with little resources abandoned.jpgor options other than by my own indomitable will.

At the worst of the worst, all I knew was that some way, somehow, I had to make it through each day and night, and to do that I needed to muster my own inner fortitude to simply endure the horror of everything that I was experiencing and to keep pushing through the darkness until something in my life changed for the better—until I could actually see the light again and pull myself out of that underworld hell I’d unfortunately been touring.

I could give specifics, but they don’t really matter because it’s all about the lessons we learn along the way. Everyone has a story. Everyone has a challenge that pits them lifes challengesagainst the demons, real or imagined, in their lives. Everyone has the choice to fight for their own existence or to lie down and die, hoping death will free them from the torment (It won’t—don’t try it—your next-life challenge might be even worse.).

So sure, I might do the ‘me, against the world,’ thing at times. That’s fine. I’ve earned the right to do it if that’s what I want to do, because I did survive my personal ordeal to be here right now laughing about some aspects of it with the rest of you.

No one gets out of this life untested in some way, primarily because it’s why you came. You came to be tested. You came to be thrown into the blast furnace of your choosing and then be hammered into strong steel for whatever purpose your present life represents.

That’s why you are here: To learn, to experience the joys and sorrows of life on this dimension of existence.  Sometimes the joys are indescribable and sometimes the sorrows are nearly unbearable, but only YOU can choose to share them with others or face them alone.

myss quoteI know now that I’m not really alone here. I never was.

But those dark nights of the soul that we ALL must face sooner or later only strengthens our resolve to better appreciate the beauty of the light again, once we can pull ourselves out of that damn hole that we’ve stumbled (or jumped) into earlier.

That’s the real choice we make each day: the choice to whine and wallow away in the darkness, or to climb out of that stinking hole and come back into the light.

It’s a choice we ALL have to make.light.jpg

I made mine. I prefer the light.

God’s TRUTH

“The truth was a mirror in the hands of God. kalidescope stained glass
It fell, and broke into pieces.
Everybody took a piece of it,
and they looked at it and thought they had the truth.”
~ Rumi

 

Love this poem by Rumi, but then I usually love most of his poems. However this one really struck me after my recent experience with trying to help some friends save a dying church congregation.

Clearly I love my friends and valued our united effort to create a better spiritual environment for all involved, but I did NOT love the scripted “churchiness” requirements of the experience—the dogma, the empty ritual, the traditions of doing something a certain way because it had always been done like that, and the dictatorial manner of the pastor deciding the church’s focus.

That kind of ‘pseudo-spiritual’ experience is definitely not for me—in fact it is the very church ladyreason I shunned churches in general for most of my life—because of the phoniness and hypocrisy of the experience.

Even from the start I knew that my participation in the group endeavor would not be easy because of my personal views on organized religions (Religion and spirituality are two very different aspects of believing in something greater than oneself, and while I am deeply spiritual, I am not a fan of the restrictive, entrenched, self-perpetuating structure of religious teachings.).

But again, I love my friends and wanted to help them pull off this effort successfully—to rebuild the dwindling congregation for the small-community betterment.church.jpg

After sitting with clenched teeth through eight months of services/sermons over what was being said and done at the pulpit and altar, I decided I couldn’t continue what felt to me to be a ridiculous charade and poorly disguised ego-trip for the preacher.

As Rumi said above, my piece of the mirror didn’t reflect what was being said and done there, so to me, it could never be MY truth. And I don’t feel bad about quitting the group endeavor or for leaving my friends there who are still a part of it.

What I would feel guilty about is if I hadn’t quit, because then I would be betraying my own self—my own spiritual connectedness that always feels pure and direct.

A week ago someone said something derogatory to me, and I let it go without responding or feeling ill will toward the person for saying it; and my best friend said to me that I was being a good ‘Christian’ about the situation.

rumi religion.jpgI had to bite my tongue to keep from saying back to her, No, ….that was being a good Muslim, or a good Jew, or a good Buddhist, or a good Jainist, or a good Taoist, or a good Hindi.

 

What I actually was demonstrating had nothing to do with any religion in particular, but with ALL in general: I was being a good PERSON!

We throw these religious labels around far too easily to separate us from others—to make distinctions between US and THEM—and what THEY believe as opposed to what WE believe.

But the entire point of living this life is to recognize our similarities and our sameness, not accentuate our differences. character quote

So to me, if you want to build a better world and create more loving and peaceful environments for everyone, including yourselves, then be better people, not proselytizers of elite-ness and separation from those who don’t share the same piece of God’s TRUTH mirror that you have in your hand.

Let’s put all those mirror pieces back together and then look within the reconstructed TRUTH mirror because it is only God’s TRUTH when it is in Its wholeness.

gods truth

The End of Illusion

wolf sheep.jpg

Interesting vlog I listened to yesterday: my favorite layman’s astrologer for those of us who really aren’t that into astrology, Kaypacha Lescher ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQNUCWzfUs0&feature=share ) said some things about the affecting energies of this time period that really resonated with me.

I can legitimately call myself an energy worker since I’ve taught REIKI (a Japanese energy therapy/spiritual practice) for almost twenty years, so I know how personal, collective, and cosmic energies can affect us individually and as a group consciousness.

And as that 20-year REIKI practitioner, I’m also uncomfortably aware of how strong the current light head.jpgenergies are that are flowing through me 24/7/365, by how “woozy” I feel if I have my hands anywhere near my head for a short period of time. The energies flowing into us right now are potent and powerful. Sleep is often hard to come by when your entire body is constantly vibrating with the force of the energy flow pulsing through you.

Lescher was saying that the energies bombarding us all right now are intensely penetrating and are squeezing the remaining illusions right out of us. (I would concur to that because of the old memories suddenly surfacing in my mind-screen for reexamination for no apparent reason.) It’s a time for transformation—for dropping those unhealthy beliefs and removing the blinders from our eyes.

die thousand.jpgIt’s a time to see things not as we wished they were but as they truly were/are, both in the past and in the now.

Basically he says this is the time to GET REAL.

And getting real is not always a pleasant state of mind to inhabit because it forces us to reexamine our every motive and aspiration to see if they were or are in line with our inner TRUTH.

What is the “inner TRUTH” and is it the same TRUTH for everyone?eye.jpg

Inner truth is the “at peace” feeling we have when we do or say something that feels right to us. I’m using very kinesthetic descriptions because inner peace is a body-based truth detector.

When we feel at peace it is a deep sigh of relief from our very core—it taps the essence of us as loving beings enjoying harmonious situations and relationships.

Ruiz.jpgDoes everyone feel this same state of inner peace often called inner TRUTH?

Let’s say it is available to everyone because it simply involves allowing one’s higher soul connection to permeate the physical being that it governs, and in that sense it IS the same inner TRUTH for everyone.

But has everyone actually allowed that higher soul connection to penetrate their body and consciousness so that they can feel at peace to know what peacefulness feels like? I don’t think so.truth.jpg

Therein lies the problem. How do you know what inner peace feels like if you haven’t felt it?

I think Lescher would say we have to be willing to let go of what we’ve always done in difficult situations, or let go of how we’ve always thought about ourselves and our lives to be willing to release the old behavior patterns that are holding us back from realizing our innate abilities to rise above aggression and violence.

plumb line.jpgIt is time to shift out of the old thinking/being patterns and create new thinking/being patterns that bring us back to our inner TRUTH—back to our inner PEACE—back to the purity of our soul that is full of Divine Love and Grace because that’s who we really are.

It is the end of illusion in all forms, and the beginning of recognizing our true soul-essence.

Let go. Release all that does not serve you. And allow these powerful energies pouring into us now to purge the dissonant energies that once ruled your life.

Purging our illusions may not be a pleasant purge—as most purges aren’t pleasant, but they are necessary to remove the toxins from your being, whether physically or mentally.live truth.jpg

The end of illusion means it is actually the beginning of living your TRUTH, and that’s a far better state of being to occupy and to claim as your own.

Faith and Belief

rocks.jpgThere are things I have faith in, and things I believe, if only at this moment in time.

There are people I feel comfortable with, and those I avoid for reasons both known and unknown to me; unknown because some “intuitive discomforts” are hard to put into words by the rational mind.

So as an energy worker I would simply say that some people’s cocooning energy vibration does not resonate with my own surrounding energy field, and leave it at that.heart split.jpg But in truth, those are the people that I would avoid because in their presence their vibrational dissonance is so pronounced that I simply cannot stand to be in their energy for long.

There are also people who believe things that are considered to be religious doctrines within their particular FAITH’s creed that lay out the do’s and don’ts for all of us—the should’s and should not’s, the “thou shalt this” and “shalt not do that’s.”

There are even religious doctrines that define the reason for our existence as the whim of a jealous God, and state that our continued progress forward depends only on following the very narrow path that religion prescribes; as no other path will suffice for our salvation, whatever salvation means to that belief.

Tbooks rel.jpghere are faiths that spout hatred and intolerance as the way to achieve heavenly bliss in the hereafter, which makes little sense to anyone other than believers of that faith.

But the fact is, there are people who DO believe these things: the DO’s and DON’Ts, the jealous God, the only path forward, along with holding tightly within one’s being the toxic, dissonant energies of intolerance and hate.

I can honestly say that I believe many things. But foremost I believe that HATRED begats only hatred (love that stupid word “begats”—probably because it is SO officially Biblical).

But I also have FAITH that LOVE is, and will always be, triumphant over hatred not because of a single man, however Divinely connected he may have been; but because of our collective end-game goal of “heavenly bliss” which cannot be reached by any other vibrational frequency than LOVE, which only makes hate doctrines the surest way to avoid such a possible state of future blissfulness.

You can call whatever you wish the particular philosophy that you stake your existence on.

I really don’t care.mlk-quot

For myself, I believe in Love and in holding a high-vibrational, blissful focus every day of our lives as the solution to our present inner turmoil, as well as the peaceful guide for our external actions.

But I don’t have to convince anyone else of that belief, especially when it is so easily experienced for one’s self.

I know this to be a fact: HATE will eat you alive, while LOVE will set you free.

I have FAITH in LOVE.  I BELIEVE in LOVE.

FAITH and BELIEF do not exist between the covers or a book, or the walls of a steepled structure.

They are your personal connection to your very reason for being if you only take the quiet time to feel them for yourself.

Contemplating the Year Ahead

I suppose if one were truly in THE MOMENT, then one would NOT be contemplating year change.jpgthe future or rehashing the past, but when it comes to this time of year it is hard not to give both some thought.

About now in my journal, I do a year-end-review to summarize all that occurred (good and not so much) throughout the year just passing. There are usually personal triumphs and losses that have been absorbed and evolved through—noting whatever knowledge was gained or wisdom acquired in the process of living life day by day, 365.

But at year’s end when I do this summation, it is easier to tell which lingering aspects are contemplationstill affecting me in some way. I always ask myself was 2016 a “good year” for me overall, or was it a constant challenge?

Each of us has our own opinion on the personally transformative aspects of this past year. Each of us was affected by events that were directly related to our own efforts, as well as being affected by events beyond our personal control. How we handled those two affectations was individually felt by everyone on many levels of our being: physically, mentally, and spiritually.

For me, I knew 2016 was a purging year—purging old memories, old associations, and old behaviors.

One purges physically to clear out the old toxins and disruptive agents affecting the body.

One purges mentally to clear the old trauma energies and stagnant thoughts from the mind.

One purges spiritually to clear the old, unhealthy beliefs about life and ourselves from our energy fields.refill.jpg

All this lengthy purging creates considerable disruption in our status quo/feelings of normalcy. But it also allows for completely emptying the old vessel to refill it with freshness and new experiences.

As we begin anew in 2017, I’m sure that we all hope the year ahead is one of joy and laughter, peace and prosperity.

However, we will take what it actually is as it slowly transpires before us.

I wish each of you all the best life can offer, and I hope that our collective-vessel refilling is with the highest frequency and purest energies of Divine Love and Light.

sunshiningMay we all shine like little suns and light whatever darkness that we may encounter throughout the days and weeks ahead of us.

Believe in yourselves. Believe in your natural abilities and resilience. And simply shine your light wherever you can.

BE PEACE to spread peace, because whether 2017 is a good year or not, is up to each of us.

The Last Hundred Pieces

pokey jig.jpgSomewhere in a blog, either this one or a previous, I’ve mentioned that I am a jig-saw puzzle fanatic.

Give me a thousand or fifteen-hundred tiny knobbed-bits that insert into other tiny knobbed-bits, and I am good for a few days of studying, comparing, assessing, and inserting them into some semblance of intended unity.

(Bare with me please, there is a philosophical point I will eventually make here.)

Once the straight-edged pieces which represent the framework of the intended picture, are separated from the mass and put into one pile, the re-joining process begins.  framework.jpg

With a framework soon established, the rest of the prospective pieces rely on color, tint, and hue for possible frame connection.

So with that basic info in mind, today I am now down to the last unattached, hundred pieces of a particularly difficult puzzle that has taken me well over a week of serious concentration.  And whenever I reach this point in a puzzle completion, it is usually a piece of cake to wrap it in an hour or two.

Jaguar puzzle.jpgBut as I was automatically sorting the last pieces into separate piles per their knob locations and particular shapes for easy selection and insertion attempt, I realized that I had changed my initial puzzle focus and strategy. I was simply filling open holes now in the puzzle and was making remaining-piece determination more so by the negative spaces left to fill rather than color similarities of the pictured image.

When I recognized my focus shift into the-last-hundred-pieces-strategy that I tend to resort to for completing any puzzle image, it dawned on me that there was something deeper to consider here than pitting positive images against negative spaces.

As we move throughout our lives from childhood onwards, we focus on building an early life framework for ourselves to help us determine who we are as individual beings, and to ferret out what we truly want from our lives. We often paint pictures in our minds to use as blueprints for creating those future realities from our fantasies; and then we go about amassing and inserting the assorted puzzle pieces necessary to get us to that completed ideal-life image we hold so dear.

For those of us who have been around quite a few decades, we may have tried to fit many random pieces into our life-puzzle depending on the positive image we always maintained of how we wanted our life to look at completion.face.jpg

Sometimes those knobby pieces fit into proper place just like we wanted them to do. And sometimes they didn’t. But that didn’t deter us, because we just kept working on our incomplete “life puzzle” trying to make something cohesive and beautiful from our unification attempts at life’s seemingly random events.

But similar to the nearly completed puzzle on my card-table at present, when we get down to the last hundred pieces left to complete the pretty picture of our lives—it is similar to the latter decades of our lives, where we are basically shifting strategy to fill in the negative spaces left for us rather than building an expansive future image centered between the framework of four established sides.

And to fill in that remaining negative space in our lives, we look for shapes that fit the boy.jpgholes that are left to fill. In effect, we likely change our life focus. We now focus on the details of filling in holes still left to complete our life picture that we had originally envisioned.

I also notice that with my puzzle completion so near, I tend to slow down and savor the remaining piece possibilities, because once that puzzle is done, it is DONE!  Nothing more will need my attention there.  At that point there is simply acceptance of the puzzle’s ending, my appreciation of the actual effort in that process, and allowing a day or two for simply admiring the completed image that had been so carefully reconstructed from all those random “life” pieces.

Then after the admiration stage, I just crumple the completed puzzle into random pieces once again, put it in the bag/box with the pretty picture on the front, and stash it away until next year.  (I actually have about 25 puzzle boxes I work through every winter. I know—obsessive.)

But wait a minute, one might think that if you have already put a puzzle together once that the second or third attempt to do so again is so much easier—right?  Well,….not so much.multiframes

Just like with having lived so many previous lives in so many different contexts and conditions, every present-life puzzle is just as difficult to complete as the one before it had been to construct. Our only advantage to recognizing that we have had many attempts at defining our life’s framework and completing our desired future image is that at some point in our spiritual progress, we stop and assess where those negative spaces are left in our soul’s evolution. We do this so we can determine what is necessary to complete the total picture of reconstructing our Wholeness—perfecting our reunification with the ONE.

And guess what?

THAT is the very puzzle we ALL are working on right now.