The Quest for What We Lack: Part Two—Family Reunions

reunion-cartoon.jpgTis the season for family reunions and family gatherings in general, involving picnics and potlucks and people you seldom see all gathered together playing nice (sort of) for a few hours.

It’s a time to clamp your jaw shut and hold your clever comebacks at the rude, intrusive, in-your-face questions—a time to curb your overwhelming desire to tell off the perpetually-mouthy aunt or the ever-drunken uncle (or role-play vice-versa)—a time to not snap at the obnoxious kids in your face all vying for attention and exuding their excessive “look at me-ness”—a time for staring with slack-jawed disbelief at all those people gathered together in this park to whom you are supposedly related and your saying aloud to yourself, “Uh-uh….NOPE…..that’s not in my genes—NO way—NO how!”minioncircus.jpg

But you know that they really are.

And these are the better thoughts you’re having at that yearly, quality “family-gathering time.”

The worse thoughts throbbing at your temples during the group get-togethers are the “family secret” thoughts that make you watch Uncle Sonny or Uncle Dicky as closely as possible, especially when little ones are near him—watch for the tell-tale enticement tricks he may have once used on you or your siblings—the “Come over here, little Suzy. Come and sit on Uncle Sonny’s lap.”  Or the little tickle games, he used to play. Or the little grabs he made when others weren’t watching and you were too unclebadtouch.jpgshocked or scared to say “Don’t do that!”—the little secrets he told you to keep just between you and him—and “Oh, here’s a shiny, silver dollar just for you if you don’t say anything to your mommy about us.”

Oh yes.  I know about Uncle Sonny and Uncle Dicky, both personally and in the late-night tales from female-adolescent slumber parties—I’ve heard the warnings not to be alone with such-and-such—to ignore such-and-such’s enticements or “games”—to watch at the next gathering for how Uncle Dicky avoids certain older adolescent family members that he once used to excessively dote on.  Yes, Uncle Dicky is a family secret—except he’s not really a secret. Nor should his behavior ever be one.

Yes, these folks, no matter how questionable some might be, are all a part of our genetic pool. Perhaps some families have a few more perversion-inclined members than others, but all families have at least one or two of them, just as all families have members who are openly addicted to drugs, alcohol, and porn.  These aren’t things that you should ignore and pretend aren’t affecting others, because they definitely do affect them—especially the vulnerable, young ones.

I’ll honestly admit that I’ve always hated family mazine not coming.jpggatherings—both with my own family and my long-time friend’s family.  The ones I’ve personally participated in, especially from childhood, were cringe-worthy for me and felt downright alien. Not only did I NOT feel like a part of that group—I wasn’t sure I ever wanted to be considered a part of them.  So I have a hard time relating to the positive experience of family reunions that others crow about.

After seeing a few sets of my friends’ family-reunion photos on Facebook, I was thinking intensely about this family-gathering hostility that I still harbor; and the question arose in my mind wondering what about this family-reunion experience appeals to the folks who DO like to attend them?

I know old folks like to gather all the little chicks around and say “See what I did with my oldfolkreunionlife?!!!  Here they are—right here! You all came from ME! Aren’t I proud? Look what I did. I made ALL of YOU!”

I get that part. I’ve heard older folks say that very thing as justification for why we were all torturing ourselves playing nice for parents and grandparents during that required togetherness time.

And many folks feel that family reunions carry on traditions and ancestral heritage—long sheets of genealogical trees are spread out on picnic tables while gnarled fingers trace lineage from some distant relation in some far away land—an ancient relative who once traveled the greatest adventure of his and her life by coming to America to create this new life here for all of us—even for Uncle Sonny and Uncle Dicky, bless their pathetic, perverted hearts.

Once in awhile, the old folks exclaim with glee queentree.jpgpointing at the far-right tree branch, this part of the family tree produced some genuinely PERFECT fruits—real peaches who made the perfect peach marmalade or jam and produced the PERFECT offspring themselves who did likewise, etc..   “Look what this branch over here produced—all these great people—they are all relatives of ours! Look how successful or prominent they were/are.”

Implied, of course, is that that branch’s success meant that the entire tree trunk must have value. And likewise, so do we—even if we can’t see it materially at this time, but we know that one of our future direct ancestors might prove us worthy of having existed at this less-than-ideal time of us personally. It gives us hope for our future redemption.

I guess our weakness as human beings is that we long for connection to others—long for belonging to the greater tribe—long for some verification of our existential validity. Genealogical tracings seem to give some folks great comfort.  I can acknowledge this fact, but I’m also not maxinespeakstruthone of those folks.

“We carry their bloodline,” we say if they are positive role models for us; and if they aren’t we say, “Must have been some overnight fling with a fly-by-nighter that slipped into our lineage. They aren’t really OUR kin.  We sure don’t claim them.”  (Ever think that on someone else’s lineage tree, they don’t claim you either?)

So while I do understand that some folks really get into family reunions, to me it is another one of those quests to determine what it is that we lack in ourselves that we try to find in others and in their familial relationships to us.  What hollowness within us do we keep trying to fill in our search for definable connection to our heritage and bloodline?

disfunctionfamily56.pngAnd when we occasionally run across our own version of an Uncle Sonny or an Uncle Dicky, do we likewise just shake our heads and say “Nope!  Not in MY family tree!”

Or do we risk alienation from the family to do something about it, and make the family secrets stop?

I shouldn’t even have to ask that question.

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Living Beyond Fear

These are my lengthy notes from hearing Sara Landon speaking sara-landon.pngon “Reclaim Your Power” from 3-13-18, on the “Beyond the Ordinary Show”. (Hopefully this link will work for you, if not you can join the “Beyond the Ordinary Show” where you can access all of the speakers.) This one is definitely worth hearing.

https://www.beyondtheordinaryshow.com/replays/?inf_contact_key=b131e9fd0c693e475c31655b56f40538b9b7fc9a178e657498960ad4d4142e2d

(Most of these notes are either direct quotes or are quickly paraphrased as I listened to Sara, so please pardon my not using quotation marks. If it is MY opinion, I put it in parentheses.)

We are allowing our deepest core fears to come to the surface now. We must choose a new way to be—a new way to react.  It takes courage to live now. Give yourself permission to see what your deepest fears are and how they have controlled every part feargraphicof your life—how those deepest fears have caused chaos, confusion and suffering in your life.  People are now leading others through promoting fear.  Our visceral responses to watching others lead through fear—living in fear—is adversely affecting us. By living in fear, we are giving our personal power over to others. So this time period in the world is all about you taking back power over your own life.

5 signs that you are giving your power away:

  1. Dysfunctional relationship patterns repeating over and over
  2. Health Issues
  3. Money Issues
  4. Addiction issues
  5. Career/financial stability problems

We are at the time when these fears have come out of the dark and into the light.  Now we can process through them and change them.  Are you feeling isolated and in self-doubt?  How do you take power back over your life?

What is power and why do you want it?

Power is the ability to create a desired result. You have the ability to create a desired result. You can get what you want. Sometimes we live our lives in avoidance of unwanted things rather than focusing on creating the things we DO want in our lives.

What is your deepest fear?

Ask yourself this.  Many say they fear not being loved or fear being alone.

We often do things to avoid being unloved and to NOT be alone, so we tend to give our power away to others, just to avoid those things.loveyourselfmore

Her Council said that: “Our greatest achievement in this life is SELF-love.”   If we can love ourselves, we can change the world and learn to love all others again. Self-love is not narcissism. It is a deep acceptance that “I am okay at my core being. I am really okay. It is okay to just be ME.”

There are only two innate fears that we are born with: Fear of falling and the fear of loud noises. All other fears are learned.   That means that all other fears were created in highly emotional personal experiences, either personally felt or witnessed interacting with others, or from media sources—like watching a scary movie or TV show.

We experienced the trauma and felt the toxic emotions associated with that fear, whether real or imagined, and we replayed it in our mind until it became a subconscious behavior program that now frames every aspect of our lives.

How do we reclaim our power? Our deepest instinct is to be a part of the tribe—it is survival related. Your chances of survival were stronger within a group community rather than on your own alone.

There’s a survival instinct for connection. So we often give our power away just to fit into the group or to be loved or accepted by others. The fear of not being loved or not being enough turns us into people-pleasers. We give our power away to fit in and feel accepted. The “unacceptable by others” aspect of us is the part that we hide or push down, or deny that even exists.

All of your true power lives in the NOW.  NOW is the power point. Fear lives in the past powerofnowtitleand the future. NOW is the moment you can change and address with love and determination rather than cower in the shadows because of your future fears. Your fears keep you from experiencing your peace and joy in the NOW.

 

What do you desire to create? That must be your focus. So address the main fear you hold.  Ask yourself, “What is my main fear?” Get quiet—go deep—be honest with yourself.

We bring the fears to the surface so we can examine them and release them—let them go.  (ME: Do a ceremony over releasing your fears.  Write them on paper, say a prayer of release, and then burn the paper. Exhale forcefully and physically blow those fear energies out of your body. Repeat 3-4 times.)

When fearful situations arise, they are good things!  They help us recognize the fear behind our motives and actions, and enable us to address it and release it.  Sometimes these base fears arise during our childhood when we are unable to defend ourselves, so back then we felt helpless, defenseless—now in the childhood fear.jpgpresent situation when similar emotions are triggered, even if it isn’t exactly the same situation, that same base fear arises and we are stuck in that fear and feel as helpless as we once did as a child. So we have to examine the fear and deconstruct it for all the components to see that we are now inherently safe because we are now able to better protect ourselves and to choose our responses and actions, rather than having the intentions/actions of others forced upon us.

This is when we learn to react differently in the NOW—stopping the looped pattern of reaction and behavior—and creating new patterns of response, and to reprogram our neural networks to develop new ways of looking at similar situations and new ways of reacting, or NOT reacting, to whatever is happening around you.

If you are feeling fearful, then stop yourself, calm yourself down, breathe deeply expelling the fear energies, and put your hand on your heart and say to yourself, “I’m okay.  I’m really okay.” And breathe through it. Keep doing that until your energy shifts higher.

Once the fearful thoughts are neutralized, then shift your awareness to that of feeling deeply at peace inside. Feel that peace in your heart area.  Really feel the peace of the moment where you are holding peace for yourself. Neutralize the once fearful thoughts using the desired feeling of peace and wellbeing, then you can move forward with your life from that still-point of peace and being in your own power w/o allowing any fear to adversely affect you. You eliminate the fear from your life.ichoosetobeme

Keep this thought in mind:  It’s okay to say NO to other people.  It’s okay to create space for yourself. That’s how you take back your power. Clarity often comes with a little bit of solitude where you can actually hear yourself, rather than hearing others barking at you.

Create time for yourself. Take time, like early in the morning, to create in your mind your perfect day ….no matter what you might actually face that day—create YOUR perfect day first in your mind.  That’s the energy you want to attract.

What do you really want in your life? That is your new focus. Make the time for yourself to determine what you DO want, and decide what you need to do to get it.

On limiting beliefs expressed around you …If your vibration is high enough, a limiting belief doesn’t matter. …When you are in alignment with your soul, limiting beliefs do not matter because you are able to easily release those beliefs from your consciousness.

But if you find yourself reacting adversely to others, then there is a subconscious program within you that is allowing you to be triggered by the person or the situation. That is actually the opportunity to allow the deeper hidden fear to surface for release.  We release those fears to move forward in creating the life we desire. So getting triggered by others is simply a good way to recognize another deeply held fear for your intentional release. (It may not feel like it at the time, but that person is doing you a favor by aggravating you.)

bringittolightWe bring it from the subconscious to consciousness to deal with it. 

Bring it from the darkness to the light.

That’s where you can look more closely at it, and then let it go.

You release your fears to feel your true inner peace.

When you are living your true potential, you are living your highest joy.

That is living beyond fear.

Yearning for Normalcy

 

I think we’ve reached a point in our personal/group evolution where we are nearly overwhelmed at the constant chaos in every aspect of our lives and yearn for something more stable and calming.choasmess

That calming influence could mean shutting off media sources or isolating ourselves from the masses; or it could mean simply saying “No,” to attempts to constantly disrupt us. I personally am thankful for the mute button on my TV control.

If you are sick of listening to lies, then stop listening. Meditate, sit in nature, exercise, listen to music, watch inspirational channels or videos that help you reach a deeper part of who you really are.

We always have a choice in what we do and what (or whom) we allow into our lives.

I often talk about how environmental energies are always affecting us, like the energy ocean we swim in daily—the unseen effects of rampant emotions and deliberately sown discord, not to mention the cosmic or solar energies that bombard us 24/7.  Those energies are still strong at present—powerfully disruptive, and they can take a toll on us if we rainbow fractalswirl.jpglet them.

It is documented that full moon energies affect people in strange ways, as do solar flares flood us with higher potency frequencies that disrupt more than radio transmissions. We are all tiny wavelets in a massive ocean of electromagnetic frequencies that ripple about our own little centers while affecting all others nearest to us. When the solar winds whip up, that energy ocean can get pretty choppy.

And yes, in truth we are tired of being so disharmoniously affected by everything we experience. We yearn for homeostasis—a state of equilibrium—a more soothing sense of normalcy.mlkquote normalcy.jpg

However, and there is always a however, what we are daily experiencing is NOT genuine normalcy unless you consider chaos to be the NEW normal, which I refuse to allow as my state of normalcy.

So if you likewise refuse to accept constant chaos in your life, then make the necessary changes in your environment and in your relationships to create for yourself a more stable sense of normalcy. Create a routine that nourishes you, that calms you, that satisfies your need for greater stability. Strategize a plan to provide the creativity from chaosvery feelings and more enjoyable specifics that are presently missing in your life.

Don’t be so acceptant of how chaotic things are at present. Instead, CREATE your life the way you wish it to be.

You have the potential and the ability to do that very thing. You are the main creator here in your life. Those powers are up to you to use or to ignore, but don’t blame others for your lack of something when YOU have the creative juices to produce it for yourself.

As Gandhi said, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”

Be that person who creates the life she desires.creatorofyourlife

Be the force for good—the force for sanity—the force for peaceful coexistence with your neighbors.

BE the NEW NORMAL!

And others will follow you.

How to Reset the Mind

As I mentioned previously, new info sources are really flowingdeepak2.jpg before me now. Saw an article this morning by Deepak Chopra, MD, who most everyone on the planet who is and has been into spirituality for the last 20 years, knows in some way.

I’ll post a few way-too-long excerpts before I make my own comments:

 “Does the Human Mind Need a Fresh Start?” By Deepak Chopra, MD

In SF Gate – On November 20, 2017

https://www.deepakchopra.com/blog/article/5915?sso_code=eyJpdiI6IlNPZHBsUDljdUZZcHpwUFpRZlFcLytBPT0iLCJ2YWx1ZSI6IkZFY245OUFGNGQwWHlLcXQ3Vm8zXC9UMjBYTlR6YlJLTXJHb0tXWGM4N1dOWTc1Z1lIbmR4ZnkrXC91cWU3Y1hSaW9kcERCdmNsUE5EdENnbzNXRUhtbWcwVk5EZUF0Z3Yza25YV1BlSlYzWDQ9IiwibWFjIjoiN2NmMWI0OGZhYTUyZTFjMDk4ZDlhNjMxMjE4YjZhNzlkZDY5OGM3NWY1ZDE4MWE5MDc1MDUyZGMzNWJkZTU3ZSJ9

“Most people would agree, even without a degree in psychology, that many if not most problems are created by the mind. …

resetmind“Medicine aims to relieve people of mental distress, with the goal of addressing a mood disorder like depression, for example, and returning the mind to a normal state. But this only highlights our confusion over what “normal” means, because there are plenty of ills created by people who would pass the test for normality. …

“It isn’t the brain that has created such misery and confusion, such lack of self-awareness; therefore, neuroscience and psychotropic drugs aren’t going to save us. It’s the mind’s status in everyday life that lies at the heart of the dilemma.  Here are the basic areas of confusion and conflict that remain unsolved.

  • Is human nature changeable? If so, why is history a litany of the same oppression, war, and strife repeated century after century?
  • Are we inherently good or evil? Where do good and evil come from?
  • Is the unconscious a dark, fearful realm or the source of inspiration, insight, and love?
  • Why is it so difficult to curb the tendency toward anger, fear, envy, and insecurity that lies just beneath the surface when people are put under stress?
  • Why are whole populations addicted to us-versus-them thinking? What makes common humanity so feeble in comparison?
  • Finally, why is it so difficult to find happiness? Is happiness ultimately a fleeting state, a blip in an existence ruled by every kind of unhappiness?

“One reason that these questions remain unanswered is that modern society has devised no kind of answer that seems to fit. These aren’t medical questions, nor are they within the domain of scientific problems.  Psychology as currently practiced is about relieving the mental distress of people who need it, not diagnosing and treating “normal” people. Philosophy and religion are on the wane so drastically that they have little influence, and it’s not clear whether religion in particular is part of the problem or part of the solution. Secularism based on reason has its advantages in dispelling myth and superstition, but rational, dispassionate science gave us atomic weapons and ever-more-lethal means of mechanized death. ….lifechange.jpg

“These vexing problems aren’t being laid out to sound gloomy, but to place a proposition on the table, the proposition that the human mind needs a fresh start. This is the only path to redefining what it means to be human. Despite the evolutionary argument that would make us prisoners of the past (violent because of the lower brain, predacious because of the need to compete for food and mating rights, afraid because of the need for continual defense in the harshness of natural surroundings, etc.), there is an equal argument for free will, higher consciousness, our so-called better angels, loving kindness, and everything else one associates with enlightened humanity. …

“No one doubts that such qualities exist, and they too are mind-created. So at bottom we aren’t talking about the human mind, or human nature, as inherently evil, ignorant, and self-destructive. Instead, the human mind and human nature are divided, and the division exists in everyone. Realizing this fact, most of the solutions to human ills come down to the same thing: coaxing people to identify with the positive side of human nature and denying or releasing themselves from the negative side. …

“In this case it refers to the mind but not to the totality of awareness—that’s the clue to a workable solution to the divisions created by the mind. Awareness is the foundation of thought but it isn’t a thought. It is the foundation of good and bad behavior, positive and negative impulses, but awareness doesn’t behave or feel impulsive. By analogy, awareness is like color. Horrible and beautiful images use color, but color itself isn’t horrible or beautiful by nature. …

“This single fact allows us to know ourselves in a new way, to give the mind a fresh start. Everything we call innate about the mind is conditioned, learned, constructed, inherited, reinforced, and struggled against. …

universalconsciousness3.jpg“It is inevitable that consciousness wants to know itself, unlike the mind, which spends endless time and energy not knowing itself. The inevitability of consciousness is the second greatest insight of the world’s wisdom traditions—let’s see how it expresses itself in our time.”

***

Ok, ….so aside from the fact that I wish Deepak would condense his article a bit more into a few specific thoughts to explore rather than defining the entire human condition in one blog post, the key point I got from it was all of humanity’s problems stem from our conditioned responses to every aspect of the world that we inhabit, and that we need to reset our minds to change the inevitable conclusion that we default to, which is our being preprogrammed for violence and self-preservation.  (“You want to be good—then stop being bad” sort of thinking.)

The main questions that he raises here on humanity’s potential for changing itself are important ones to consider further:

  • “Is human nature changeable?
  • Are we inherently good or evil?
  • Is the unconscious a dark, fearful realm or the source of inspiration, insight, and love?
  • Why is it so difficult to curb the tendency toward anger, fear, envy, and insecurity that lies just beneath the surface when people are put under stress?
  • Why are whole populations addicted to us-versus-them thinking?
  • Why is it so difficult to find happiness?”

Here are MY bullet points pertaining to that:

  • I’m sure that every therapist in existence today makes a living dealing with those same key issues.
  • Self-help gurus make their fortunes providing palatable answers and working solutions to those same questions for the crowds who follow them.
  • Philosophers and theologians have staked their life’s work on providing theses and institutional hypotheticals pertaining to the countering of man’s innate badness tendencies with man’s potential qualities for goodness.
  • There are real-world ego/financial-based reasons shown above that may stymie genuine progress in evolving mankind’s earth-based consciousness.

everyconsciousne.jpgAnd if I understood what Deepak was trying to explain, he is saying that “consciousness” (here meaning the Great Awareness—Universal Existence—GOD) is the infinitely larger reservoir of ALL THERE IS TO KNOW, while the human mind is more finite and self-focused on its own perpetuating state of existence within the human vessel.

So when we can expand our awareness beyond the limited self and tap into the larger UNIVERSAL AWARENESS consciousness, we have the potential for changing the human condition and humanity itself for the future.

At least I hope that’s what he was saying.meditationsit.jpg

He’s been pushing meditation and spiritual transcendence for decades, so focusing on connecting into the Higher Aspect Consciousness is his suggestion to resetting the human mind to recognize its potential for goodness and maximum co-creativity for our world.

But retraining ourselves also involves lengthy undoing of previous training (from our infancy onward by parents, teachers, religions, peers, media, etc.). That’s why there are so many practicing psychotherapists, and I bet they do way more untraining than retraining.

reset button

Too bad we aren’t like our computers in that respect. You hit the reset button with your fingers crossed and your mouth held just right, and hope for the best.

No Sense of Identity

snack.jpg

Looking at my Facebook homepage this morning and seeing yet another of those “Who Are You?” quizzes (a potato chip or a Dorito?) being shared and taken by people who I actually know, I could make a broad non-judgmental comment like: “Human nature—go figure.”

But I think there is something deeper there to consider.

marketingAside from the on-line fun-quizzes being a marketing gimmick to further determine your buying habits or preferences for future products, they also show how gullible people can be and how willing many are to label themselves in some way for public acceptance.

 

I guess that aspect mystifies me the most.

The entirety of my life I have fought against the ready use of labels and judgments in labels.jpgdefining people—against me personally being grouped as a thoughtless commodity so easily shelved into a hierarchal genus or a colloquial catch-all phrase that disputes my individuality and unique qualities as a living, breathing, human being.

I refuse to be de-humanized.

While here, on my Facebook homepage—amidst people I actually know—they giggle and comment on which Saint they are, or which animal temperament they resemble, or which world leader they most emulate or which….snack food they seem to be.

identityI mean, ….seriously people? Do you have no sense of personal identity that you need to have a marketer try to group you onto some grocery shelf in the snack isle?

What’s wrong with you?????

 

So the best I can offer the people I actually DO know is to say: “Human nature—go figure.”

And leave it at that.crisis ident.jpg

So Many Questions

(May 18, 2015 repost to avoid writing a variation of the same thing in my head today.)

Seems like the older I get, the less I think I ever did know.

It isn’t that I’m losing knowledge along the way. It’s more so I’m realizing that those certainties I once felt about life in general, really weren’t. There are no genuine life certainties to be had; and life isn’t what it once seemed to be in the brashness of my youth. It’s just not that simple.

The sureties and certainties that we repeatedly tell ourselves ddelusionaily are often indicators of some deeply-guarded delusions created by the egoic mind. They are “deeply guarded” for a reason: we base every facet of our lives on those core beliefs—everything from WHAT we do, to HOW we do it, and most importantly to the WHY we do it aspect.

While this sounds a bit ridiculous to think that we are basing our lives on such serious inner fantasies, it actually means that to us they are NOT fantasies at all because we consider some of our deepest beliefs to be above intense inspection or reconsideration.

Those are the core beliefs that we aren’t going to change our opinions on without ample evidence to their flawed nature, because we’ve already invested far too much thought and emotion into them (as have our parents invested their time drilling them into us from infancy onwards).

We grew up believing in these things—being force-fed these things in some instances, and even now, those beliefs tend to bolster our mental concept of WHO we are as a person and WHAT we want (and deserve) from life—hence that’s why they are considered CORE beliefs.

To CHANGE a cobeliefsre belief is to create before us a sudden swampland-crossing where prior we had stood firmly anchored on solid psychological pavement. That fast-dissolving sense of inner solidity and environment framing, no matter how imperfect it may later be proven to be, made us sure of a purpose to our life and even provided us tangible future goals of creating a better life for ourselves and for our loved ones—i.e.: good jobs, lots of money, quick advancement, supportive families, the GOOD LIFE, etc..

You’ll recognize those swampland-crossings as unexpected illnesses, divorces, deaths, job losses, financial upheavals, addictions, assaults, betrayals, etc.—anything that suddenly shifts your perspective out of the “my life is flowing smoothly” steam of living and into sudden and complete chaos where firm-footings no longer exist.

That’s the point where your core beliefs come under the greatest inspection. If your beliefs help you through the toughest life issues without losing your sanity, they may be solid ones. If not, you will likely be searching for greater solace in a different belief system; and you’ll also be questioning whether your earlier beliefs were in fact, delusions—things you told yourself because that’s what you wanted to believe, NOT because they were true.

I can’t speak for anyone other than myself on this matter, but over the many decades of my own existence my personal beliefs have evolved—sometimes year-by-year. Learning to think for myself from college onwards was a major step in becoming my own person, rather than remaining the person that my parents or childhoquestionsod authorities tried to mold me into being.

And for many of us, that’s what “coming into our own” is all about—finding our own way rather than being told which way to choose, or how to act, or who to wed, or what to do with our lives, etc. Moving out of our parents’ and authority figure’s shadows is the most important first step that many will make toward establishing their own sense of purpose and destiny.

That being said, there are only a few guideline questions I might suggest if you are searching for the right path for you:

  • Is it a path based on love and compassion for yourself, as well as for all others?
  • Is it a path that makes you feel happy about yourself and how you spend your time? (NO GUILT allowed on this path.)
  • Is it a path that nurtures you, and gives you a deeper sense of expansion and future possibilities in THIS world, not the next one?
  • Is it a path that allows you to grow and BE who you truly are?
  • Is it a path of FREEDOM—or are you forever tied to the expectations of others?

These are a few questions that I would have found helpful to me when I was in my early twenties trying to decide on my own path to take back then.

bike of freedomIf you are so inclined, you might try them on for size and see how they feel to you in YOUR life right now.

Life is amazingly short, even if it doesn’t seem like it at the time. Find yourself (and your true calling) early and enjoy every moment of your life daily.

Those Dissin’ “Chaos” Energies

(Pertinent repost from May 23, 2014)

Noticed a bit of discomfort lately in situations, relationships, and personal endeavors? It might be the malingering effects of the dysfunction-creating  “D’s”—those discombobulating chaos energiesdolphin waves rainbow we’re swimming in at present, with two of the most noticeable aspects being dissonance and disruption.

For those of us who are energy sensitive, we know the feel of these disturbing energies when you’re in them. Once-normal situations now seem tense and potentially explosive. People you normally associate with walk around frowny-faced and withdrawn, preferring to be left alone—with you being one of them.

Easy to tell that this isn’t a fun environment to be in or near; and that makes for yet another “D”—difficulties.

So what is going on in the world right now?

The likely culprits are some very weird energies coming in to the world at present, and those strange oceans of energy that we are all swimming in seem to be chaos energies. It’s easy to recognize chaos energies because they create lots of upheavals and uncertainties wherever they are present; resulting in all those previously mentioned “D’s,” which are so obvious right now whether at work, at home, communally or personally.

What is perhaps even more distracting is the sheer strength of these latest chaos energies which are straining relationships and creating sleepless nights for many of us who are so energy sensitive.

I asked a dear friend who is also a highly-intuitive energy-worker, for her take on what is happening because I was having a hard time getting a clear read for it myself, and she said it’s all about balancing the new energies coming in to our world at present—energies that are meant to be dissonant and disruptive to shake up the old systems—the old ways of operation—and create the opportunity for change: for both individual and world-wide change.

So if you find yourself immersed in this kettle of funky, murky energy that seems to keep stirring things hotter for you, maybe it’s time find a way to turn down the heat and let the situation cool a bit. Chill out. Walk away. Shift your focus for awhile.

As someone recently wrote, “Just because you’re invited to an argument, doesn’t mean you have to accept the invitation.”

But if these chaos energies continue to be so strong and continue to adversely affect us, perhaps we need to learn how to handle these powerfully disruptive energies in more calm and constructive ways, to prevent all those “D’s” from leading to one more: disaster.

If there was ever a time to learn how to hold your own center and keep your cool in adverse situations, this is it.  So my suggestion is to meditate more and spend some quality time in nature doing vigorous activities to burn off that excess energy flooding our energy fields at present; and by all means, simply relax….just relax. Sit back and take it easy for awhile.

These energies will shift again in a few weeks, and hopefully they will be more pleasant and nurturing by then. Just try to use these present disruptive-energy aspects to clear things from your life that have long needed to be cleared, but for some reason, you just couldn’t let them go.

Try again! I bet in these energies you CAN let them go now!

ImageClean out the basement or the garage, stack the trash bins full of all that old “stuff” you’ve accumulated and kick it to the curb. That’s what these energies are good for: Clearing out the old to make room for the new.

The Chinese kanji representing “Chaos” means many things. But the greatest positive effect it represents is the “Opportunity for Change.”  And that’s the whole point of this present world-wide energy scenario: CHANGE.