One Last Chance to Visit 3 Presenters from the “Understanding Narcissism” Summit

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Just saw the email from Tami Simons (Sounds True) on a last chance to hear Caroline Myss’s presentation that I wrote about earlier, ( https://content.soundstrue.com/understanding-narcissism-summit-encore?utm_source=bronto&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=C191116-UNS-Sell4&utm_content=Myss,+Hanson,+and+Neff+-+Free+Encore+Presentations&_bta_tid=09528543415476418810300132756200661561082200615837475413618082489837536028413298474285896175960726012765&_bta_c=azpcfyz2d505smzjcvmh15bka8yxt),  as well as two additional presenters, one of which I am reviewing here today.

This one is called “Healthy Confidence” by Rick Hanson, PhD.  Initially I didn’t understand (or appreciate) why Rick’s focus was on looking for a healthy approach to milder aspects of narcissism. So today when I listened again, I did so with the consideration that for some reason Tami and Jeffery thought that out of the 20 presenters listed, not only Caroline was offered again (which I easily 4dbb3d925440f266e9f3a71eaca87e9c.jpgunderstood), but also offered again for some reason was Rick Hanson’s presentation which to me represented the counter argument for considering mild forms of narcissism as building blocks for establishing a sense of solid self-esteem.

Then I listened more closely to what Rick was actually stressing here and he sounded very “Dr. Joe Dispenza” to me—more about healing yourself by holding the higher love-frequency emotions and using positive reinforcement to establish new patterns of brain function.  Then it made sense why he was offered as an encore. It was a positive presentation of helping others to help themselves in terms of self-worth.  Here are a few quotes:

“It’s about narcissism vs. self-worth—helping people develop (constructive) concepts of true self-worth to help those (more destructive) narcissistic tendencies fall away. Narcissists have a hollowness inside—an emptiness that they keep trying to fill with external recognition and a fair amount of self-preoccupation.  …”

He researched mother-toddler pairs and how those interactions created the solidity or lack-thereof in early childhood development.  “ …dismissive or indifferent early-childhood care-givers often created the void felt by infants that later led to excessive self-focused behaviors…”  It involved negative enforcement for undesirable infant behavior rather than a positive approach to desirable behaviors. … meaning, caregivers ignoring crying, disruptive behaviors, etc.

“It’s not abusive parental behavior, as it is simply a behavioral modification style that the parent believes is necessary and beneficial to the child and family in the long run, but which actually creates a feeling of unmet needs in the infant and child. … the child has yearnings for personal connection and love—to feel cared for and appreciated…these are normal human needs that are then met or unmet by the style of the caregiver. …

“Feelings of low worth and insecurity lead to self-preoccupation of feeling inadequate or insecure that push away the needs of other people in favor of fulfilling their own.  Overt narcissism is an endless pulling of social supplies from other people to fill that hole in the heart. …

“How do we grow healthy self-confidence? …How do we heal that old pain of never being good enough or adequate enough? … (Hungry ghost stuff). …

“Self-directed neuro-plasticity ….any kind of lasting change psychologically must be your-neurotransmitters-and-.jpgthrough lasting change physically. We become less demanding of others…we can be in relationships without making it all about ourselves. … especially create changes in the nervous system and the brain that make lasting learning… neurons that fire together wire together… help the experience leave a lasting physical experience behind to provide a memory that fuels our desirable behavior change.  …We become active agents of our own process of healing and transformation … Have the experience and enjoy it—really enjoy it—help those neurons form physical structures of brainwave patterns.  Stay with a positive experience for a few breaths to help it solidify in your brain. … somatic experiences—body sensations help us retain the benefits of the experience.  It is a rewarded feeling—we are being positively reinforced about our experience and it releases dopamine and serotonin in the brain.  Those ‘feel good’ chemicals released into our bloodstream that helps us feel good about ourselves.  …

“When we feel our worth, it represents something that we feel is true. We recognize it as a positive experience—we feel good about it. See it—feel it—internalize it. …

“Four major sources of self-worth (or self-confidence)—how you fill yourself up to feel good about yourself despite what others might think about you:

  • The 1st is to feel ‘cared about or caring’, …authentic experiences of warm-heartedness or altruistic love.index.jpg
  • 2nd is recognizing your own good qualities—natural talents, disciplined, hard-worker, perseverer, etc.
  • 3rd is experiencing and recognizing your true nature deep down—wakefulness, goodness, lovingness, Buddha-nature, childlike innocence, delight in existing, good wishes toward others, wishing to help others,
  • 4th is forgiving yourself, …self-compassion, healing shame, letting go of criticism, pardoning yourself but taking accurate responsibility for your actions and then moving forward in positive ways toward a better way of being.” ….

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Jeffery: “How does this process soften narcissistic tendencies?” 

Rick:  “I’ve seen when people do this simple receiving practice of filling themselves with love and positive experience, they feel ‘more full’ inside, it lessens their craving for unmet needs, and tames craving of needing the opinions and acceptance of others.  They feel less a sense of deficit—of something missing because that person has then learned how to self-fulfill themselves with positive feelings of true self-worth. …”  

Jeffery:  “…so you don’t have to reduce narcissistic tendencies, you simply have to build a greater sense of true self-worth?”

Rick:  “With therapeutic help and cultivating a larger shift in perspective, it helps to regulate the ‘need factor’ of how we tend to use others for fulfilling own sense of worth.”

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Okay. That is my quick-take of Rick Hanson’s presentation and his professional opinions as a practicing psychologist and a therapist, and to some degree I assume his techniques may be successful with those who have milder narcissistic tendencies, but with those who are severely narcissistic and primarily self-focused, I just can’t imagine that this treatment is truly and lastingly effective.  But again, that is just my opinion, and what do I know anyway. … 🙂

But I do agree with giving a child a healthy sense of self-worth, and in defining what the difference is between narcissism and actually creating a healthy sense of self-worth.

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To that end I could more easily agree with Dr. Kristin Neff who was also offered on the page, on the ‘difference between self-esteem and self compassion’ and the importance of standing up for oneself against a malignant narcissist.

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What Is True Authenticity?

If you can actually answer that spiritual question posed here of “What is TRUE authenticity?” then the next question would be “Then how do you define SELF-realization?”  (Wow, shades of Paramahansa Yogananda’s revelations on SELF-REALIZATION)—which is from the same ‘self-awareness era’ that A.H. Almaas reminds me of when I first read his “Diamond Approach” book a few years ago.  He was an early pioneer of self/TRUE SELF-realization back in the 70’s-80’s, when Yogananda’s epic Hindu philosophy was fairly popular.

The analysis of TRUE AUTHENTICITY all comes back to answering the basic questions of whoamihand (1).jpgWho am I?  What is my TRUE identity? Am I strictly a physical being ruled by my biology and pathology? Or am I an elusive spiritual entity seemingly trapped in an earth-bound physical body—constantly yearning to return to my True Higher Source from which I came?

These are all good questions, and ones I’ve certainly been asking myself for the last 30 years.

These old gems are surfacing again now because I’m currently understandingnarcissismst.jpglistening to A. H. Almaas (founder of the Diamond Approach®), on “how narcissism became an impediment to spiritual awakening”. (It’s Day 7 of the same “Understanding Narcissism” series from Sounds True, like the Caroline Myss presentation from a few days ago.)  According to Almaas,

“when you move from simply experiencing your spiritual nature, to BEING it—meaning, when you move from somebody who is experiencing the spiritual experience to BEING the spiritual experience itself—THAT is self-realization. …

…The Self here is NOT defined by the MIND in your self-identity—meaning: You are NOT who you erroneously delude yourself that you are—your self-identity may not be a pure representation of WHO you really are, but may instead be an aggregation of who you have been told that you are, who you wish that you were, and who you often act like in actual daily life.  It’s your self-representation—NOT your true self-identity.

Tami Simon pins him down pretty well here trying to sharpen his focus: “OK, and what you’re saying is this constellation of self-representations, self-images, self-identification with my body, with my name, with my place in the world, that this is all inherently narcissistic, because it’s not actually essential, stripped down, not what I actually AM in this moment without referencing memories and self-representations.”

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Almaas responds with “That is TRUE.  There is another way of looking at it,….it has nothing to do with instability and insecurity in the sense of self—a sense of false  identity. …now in spiritual work, the EGO is ultimately unstable and insecure because it is NOT who we really are.  So true challenges to our experience will show it (the EGO) to be fragile.  It may not be obvious in our experience, but when we come to something extraordinary or profound, the EGO is shaken. …because it’s NOT who we really are. …We are more than that.” …

…”In your old age, when you’ve lived your life and all that, when you come to the end of your accomplishments, where does your VALUE come from?  When you’re forgotten about, when you come to the end of what other people think of you, when you come to your actual self—where does your TRUE value come from?

For spiritually-realized people, value gushes out from inside.  It is inherent to the TRUE Self—that is SELF-REALIZATION.  The TRUE SELF is pure sense of preciousness, goodness, and beauty.  So its value is intrinsic and inherent. It does not need accomplishments.

…But in a realized person, those things are an expression of something deeper. And because of that, their actions and activities have a lot to do with benefiting others instead of simply benefiting oneself. ..So Ego is inherently self-centered. …But a realized person doesn’t think of others as different than oneself—they are naturally loving and caring, …not self-centered—self-focused.  …How do I feel? …I feel like my heart is full of some kind of richness, a richness, a fullness, a sort of sweetness, a kind of love, …a love that is an inherent higher value.  I, being ME, is PURE VALUE.  I don’t need others to see that value. I feel it—I am IT—which is a far cry from somebody who wants their value to be seen and acknowledged by others to feel a sense of value within themselves. … 

We are the SELF that is not created by the actions of time…. It simply IS—it infinitely exists as the ‘I AM’. THAT is SELF-REALIZATION—the direct recognition that I am the ‘I AM’. “

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The Brain as Receiver

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“There is a fundamental field of information that is the source of our consciousness. Consciousness is not an epiphenomenon of your brain; it’s actually something that your brain is tuned into like a radio is tuned to a set of information.” – Nassim Haramein

(Image: visualizing your antenna & field interactions)

 

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Nikola Tesla

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Video Nugget: The Brain As A Receiver of Consciousness with Marjorie Woollacott, PhD

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https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=brain+as+receiver+of+consciousness&view=detail&mid=8BDB8D4B347B5F5DA1998BDB8D4B347B5F5DA199&FORM=VIRE

“…The brain acts as a filter of the greater consciousness; we filter parts of the total information input available to us. …Our nervous system has to filter the information into digestible pieces for us to make sense of our universe. … The experience of non-local awareness is infinity—the ALL—total consciousness—experiencing the whole Universe at one moment. …Simultaneously, Great Sages who experience this non-local awareness, can be functioning at the local awareness level interacting in their filtered way with the people around them very effectively. …”

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The following is excerpted from The Intelligence of the Cosmos by Ervin Laszlo, published by Inner Traditions.

“…On the basis of a growing series of observations and experiments, a new consensus is emerging. It is that “my” consciousness is not just my consciousness, meaning the consciousness produced by my brain, any more than a program transmitted over the air would be a program produced by my TV set. Just like a program broadcast over the air continues to exist when my TV set is turned off, my consciousness continues to exist when my brain is turned off.whatisreaklitylaslobk.jpg

Consciousness is a real element in the real world. The brain and body do not produce it; they display it. And it does not cease when life in the body does. Consciousness is a reflection, a projection, a manifestation of the intelligence that “in-forms” the world. …”  Ervin Laslo

 

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Overcoming the Fear of Death

When I saw this Alberto Villoldo blog-entry email ocfeardeath34.jpgon overcoming the fear of death, it triggered some memories for me of my own client situations where I became less the “curer” of the serious illness before me and became more the gentle “transition” coach for those clients—the one who helps them more peacefully transition from this life experience to the Spirit World they would soon re-enter.

As he mentions in the blog post, there were times in the two decades of my energy healing practice (REIKI, Shamanic, Hypnosis) when I was called in as a “last resort” with some new client to see if I could perform a miraculous healing and reverse their likely terminal situation.

Despite their desperate desire for reversing their dire situation, I never made miraculous-healing claims to them.  I simply acknowledged that no matter what reason initially brought that person to me, he or she was there before me for a specific need that maybe I could fill, even though it might not be for the same reason that they thought it would be.  No matter the outcome, I would do whatever I could do to help them with their current situation, and that we would face the illness together until they no longer needed or wanted me to help.

I can honestly say that I always did my very best for them—for ALL of them.  After our REIKI sessions, many, if not all, were lightened of negative/heavy energies and severe mental strain that were dragging their attitudes ever downward because REIKI has this amazing ability to simply lift their energy fields to higher frequencies, and to help them hold that wonderful sense of being at peace and feeling a greater sense of well-being. It also eased the pain that they were experiencing and often countered the extremely nasty effects of chemo or radiation.

While I worked on them, I played the most beautiful, ethereal music that I had in my collection and told them to simply relax into the music as we would soon be rising together to the highest level of healing and angelic assistance.  I even made free CD copies for them of that same music to play whenever they needed to bask in that wonderful higher ambiance—to help get them through the days until the next time we could be together to ride the higher energies again.

After only a treatment or two, no matter what process was going on with their body, jumpintospacefear54.jpgthey realized that a deep sense of peace still existed within them. And I lovingly stood by those who requested my continued presence, providing pure, higher frequency energy for them during our REIKI sessions.  While they still breathed life on earth, they could feel the eternal love and the most beautiful higher light that they knew awaited them in the next venue—and in knowing the genuine feel of deep inner peace, they did heal what could be healed within themselves and throughout their relationships while they still had the time on earth left to do so.

That is what Alberto refers to here in this article. Curing and healing are two different things—and sometimes facing our death with a calm grace and feeling deeply at peace inside is a far deeper soul healing than an illness cure can provide.

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“2019 Oct 22 —ENDINGS, TRANSITIONS, AND BEGINNINGS: OVERCOMING FEAR OF DEATH  —  Alberto Villoldo, PhD

 https://thefourwinds.com/blog/shamanism/endings-transitions-beginnings-overcoming-fear-death/  

albertoblogondeath2019.jpg“Fear of death—whether death of the body, a way of thinking, a relationship, a situation, or a dream—must be experienced fully and consciously, and then overcome for new, healthy growth to take place. We master our fear of death when we understand that our nature is transtemporal (outside of time) and undying, continuing for all eternity. …

… At just 12 years old, Annie was the youngest cancer patient I had ever worked with. Her parents had brought her to see me in the hope that One Spirit Medicine would reverse her brain cancer. They had tried every conceivable medical intervention to no avail and were looking to me for the cure they had failed to find anywhere else. Annie had lost all her hair from chemotherapy and looked like a young, smiling Buddha as she sat in a big leather chair in my office.

I explained to Annie’s parents the difference between healing and curing. While curing is the elimination of symptoms, healing works at a much deeper level, treating the causes of the imbalance that lead to disease. And while a cure is the ideal outcome of a medical intervention, healing is the product of a journey in which all aspects of your life are transformed—even if you end up dying. You carry your healed self into your next life.

…I asked Annie’s parents to sit outside in the waiting area so I could be alone with her. After a few moments of small talk, she told me bluntly, “I’m not afraid.” She went on to say that angels came to her every night in her dreams—and even during the day at times. But her parents were deathly afraid for her. “I can’t tell them about the angels,” Annie said. But she thought I would understand. And I did. I sensed that the veils between the worlds were parting for Annie and that her spirit was preparing for the great journey home. But her parents were understandably determined to do everything possible to help Annie live, and this meant trying to get rid of her cancer by taking her to a string of specialists and finally, as a last resort, to me.

I’ve been a practicing shaman long enough to understand that death is part of life. And I have seen that some of my most successful healings consisted of helping my clients die peacefully and consciously. So I performed an Illumination on Annie, to help bring balance to her energy field and thus to her body. The Illumination is the core healing practice of shamanic energy medicine, in which the luminous energy field is cleared of the imprints of disease to help mobilize the body’s own healing systems. …”

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Yet Another Deepak Interview

Since he’s on my Facebook list, I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised that these interview excerpts keep appearing in front of me.  At first I assumed it might be similar to the others, but only a few seconds into hearing it he mentions my favorite subjects:  ‘What is the nature of reality?’  ‘What is the nature of perception?’   ‘What is consciousness?’ which captured my attention immediately, so here goes with yet discussionswdeepakinterview.jpganother personal transcription of his short interview:

https://www.facebook.com/DeepakChopra/videos/530070384462290/

 

Unknown-to-me interviewer: “Deepak, what is Metahuman?”

Deepak:  “Metahuman is waking up to what is reality.  If I asked ‘What is reality?’ What is everyday reality? It is THIS (gesturing around him, lists a few things and people). ….. On the one hand this is true. On the other hand it is not true at all, because what we call everyday reality is a human interpretation of perceptual experiences.  So who am I?  I AM this being. This person.  And who is the other? (Pointing around) That, that, that…is the other.  This is a learned perception—it is a human perception too and an interpretation of perception.   Before we can call an object ‘THAT’ or ‘THAT’ (chair, crystal, vase, etc.) it is an experience.

This… (he lifts a red phone from the table) is color, form, and shape.  Color is an attribute of the physical world but there is NO color in the physical world.  Color is electromagnetic radiation ….  And if you trace that perceptual activity back to its Source, you will end up with Awareness or Consciousness (which are ‘attributes’ of Source).

When you take (all sensations—sight, hearing, taste, smell) back to their roots, to its Source, you end up with Consciousness knowing itself as THIS (the phone in his hand).  …. So the only thing Conscious does is know itself through its self-excitations.  We take a bundle of these excitations (sensings) and make them concrete as the objects, including our own bodies.

 Metahuman is waking up from this delusion, which is basically a dreamscape in which that which we call your body-mind (the interviewer) and that which we call this body-mind (himself)…and that which we call the universe, etc., …so metahuman is waking up from that dreamscape to where the dream is conceived, constructed, governed and comes into me.

For simplicity we can say I AM (Source), before we can say I am me.  I am Deepak.”

 

The World Is Our Mind’s Reflection

Just listened to a short excerpt of Hota Kotb hodadeepaktoday.jpgon Today Show doing an interview with Deepak Chopra pertaining to his new book: METAHUMAN, and thought I’d share a few quotes that caught my ear.

( https://www.facebook.com/today/videos/796183174171239/ )

Deepak:  “The best advice I can give…is don’t take yourself seriously.  You’re here today and gone tomorrow.”

“If you are taking yourself seriously you will be offended by others for the rest of your life.”

“The whole purpose of our existence is to find our own joy, to experience and maximize the experience of love, and to then find some meaning and purpose to our existence, and to be healthy.  And that is all.”

“Everyone is doing the best that they can from their present state of awareness.  Everybody is doing the best that they can from their own (behavioral) conditioning, which goes back to their childhood—what they heard from their parents.”

“Anytime you look at the world, you are actually looking at a reflection of yourself.  So when people criticize you, they are actually reflecting what they think of themselves.”

(She asks him: ‘In this moment where are you?’)

Deepak:  “I am at peace…I am totally at peace.  It’s easy.”

She responds with, ‘You’re right though—that’s all there is. What are we sweating?’

“Yes, take it easy. (Don’t automatically react to negativity or criticism around you)….We become biological robots constantly being triggered by people and circumstances, into predictable outcomes.  That’s a terrible way to live. You’re at the mercy of every stranger on the street.   They say something nice; you are flattered for the rest of your life.  They say something nasty; and you’re offended for the rest of your life.  What a way to live.”

To which she repeats: ‘What a way to live.  You’re right.’

 

What’s In a Name?

This post by Alberto Villoldo sums up my personalshakespearwhatisname654.jpg philosophy about ‘names’ in general or in assigning ‘the doings of our life’ descriptions to ourselves for the benefit of others who are busy trying to classify us in their own minds in some way, i.e.:  I’m a teacher….I’m a writer…I’m a helpful/not-so-helpful person…besides evidently being impatient and rude to friends, etc.  (It’s a wonder that I have any friends. 🙂 )

Yesterday sitting around the table at a group gathering, a friend was doing a lengthy explanation to the rest of us about a sudden personal revelation that she had had. It pertained to how she now ‘defined’ herself in some way—meaning, she said it defined WHO she is now, as opposed to WHO she was in the past (or at least how she saw herself from then to now).

Not being a (name) socially polite or (name) patient person myself, through all the elaborate bobbing and weaving in her lengthy story, I rudely cut in and asked, “But WHO are you?”   I mean wasn’t that the entire point of the whoamiquote234.jpgstory? Who are you now, that you weren’t two weeks ago?  Wasn’t that the most important thing for her to know that she had suddenly discovered on her life journey?

She looked a bit miffed at (name) old-rude-me, and then smilingly said that if I’d just let her finish, she would have told us who she was.  With me now properly but politely chastised, she started the story again, winding here and there, here and there, and guess what?  She never did tell us WHO she now was; instead she simply told us what she planned to do or to pursue in the near future.

Eh, ….that’s not the same thing is it? Who you are and what you do? Not to me anyway.

So this morning Alberto puts out this post about using names and identifying yourself in certain ways that tend to become self-fulfilling prophecies.  And not surprisingly, he makes my point below far better than I just did above, so I listed it here in its entirety.

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 Alberto Villoldo  (on Facebook)

I am.

These are two of the most powerful words in our language. Whatever words we place after these two words shapes our reality for the entire day, and sometimes for the rest of our lives.

The first time you experience your “I am” is when you learn your name.

For a long time, I introduced myself as “I am Alberto,” instead of saying “My name is Alberto.” I believed I was my name, which was also my grandfather’s name; it was the extension of the story of my family. What I knew about our family history revealed that we were pirates and highwaymen, with an occasional slave owner and merchant on our family tree─not much to look up to, really.

When you say, “I am <your name here>,” you rouse the spells of your ancestors. Some of these spells are about your health and how you will live and how you will die. When you go to your doctor, she asks what your parents died from. Breast cancer, heart disease, dementia─she tells you that your destiny has been cast, that it is written in your family genetics. When you go to the therapist, she shows you that the stories that run in your family leap from one generation to the next, until you become just like the mother or father you vowed you would never become.

If you live long enough, you will get to ask the question Who am I?

It is a terrible question, because it launches you on a journey into places and experiences that are unknown. You realize that you are not your name, that you are not your family, that you are not your job or any of your myriad roles in your life. That you hate Brussels sprouts and love the opera is not, I repeat not, who you are. Until you begin to transform the dream of security, you do not have the foggiest idea of who you really are.

But ask the question; this is a step in the right direction.

When my father was in his seventies he called early one morning and said to me, “Alberto, I have been living someone else’s life. I have tried to be a good husband, a good provider, a good person. But I have no idea whose life I have been living.” And for the next few years after he asked himself that question, he lived his own life until he died. I like to think that my father died at the age of five, but it was a well-lived five years.

After you spend a long time discovering that you can’t be defined by your name or by your nationality or by your gender ─ that all of these are real but not intrinsically true ─ you begin to understand that what you thought was your life and your identity was only a daydream.

You let go of the need to place something after “I am ____,” because you now recognize it is a complete statement (without filling in the blank).”

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