The Quest for What We Lack

For some strange reason, the Tin Man from “The Wizard of Oz” kept coming intotinmanwizoz5.jpg my head this morning, saying, “If I only had a heart…”    And I of course assumed my subconscious was referring to the large “Orange One” on stage with all his daily ranting and conspiratorial lunacy. Yes, if HE only had a heart instead of that huge black hole swirling in his voluminous body.

But, he doesn’t.

So then my mind continued the “Wiz of OZ” analogy with the Cowardly Lion, who must be Congress, right?  If Congress only had the courage to stand up for our democracy’s constitution.  Yes, if only.

wizoz70thannOkay by now I’m paying attention and trying to determine who the other main players are in this mind-game parody.  Who is left: the Scarecrow, Dorothy and Toto, the Wiz himself, besides the witches good and bad, and Auntie Em.   Cheering Munchkins and Flying Monkeys must be all the rest of us, I assume, maybe representing our good and bad angels.

To me the main message of “The Wizard of Oz” depicts the search for self-awareness—where all characters set out to find the qualities that they think they lack in themselveslike the quest for self-knowledge and self-actualization.  And if we were to carry this into our present situation, I’d have to say that I think the large “Orange One” is too self-consumed to ever be self-aware, so I’ll make the analogous connections for him.

Back to matching characters to our current situation, I think Toto—the little dog—is Dorothy’s subconscious trying to guide her back to safety and sanity.

The Scarecrow was looking for a brain, right?  Or did he just represent innocence and ignorance? Who could that be, eh?  I know who I think it represents but I hate to say it here, so you’ll just have to guess.sepiadorothy6.png

But who is Dorothy?  Dorothy who searches to find who she really is and to make her way back “HOME” –who does Dorothy represent?  I think Dorothy represents the American ideal of who we are as a people trying to find our way back to being compassionate human beings who believed in fairness, equality, and the right to self-determination.

Then what does the Wizard lack and who does he represent?  Hmmm.  Well, in the show he’s a con-man.  He’s a fraud.  He pretends to know all the answers.  He tricks people.  He wizbehindcurtain67.jpgruns a phony operation to gain respect and demand adulation, but he is basically insecure and impotent.  Hmmmm. Who could that be??????

Perhaps the Prez can play two parts in this mind-parody: Tin Man and Oz Wiz.

So that leaves the good and bad witches and Auntie Em left to assess.

The witch dichotomy is dependent on your political affiliation, so I’ll leave that for personal consideration, but Auntie Em, … the maternal figure who is Dorothy’s stand-in auntieemsymbol45mother during these harsh-life conditions—who represents the safety and security of a stable, can’t–be-blown-away-by-a-tornado HOME.

She could be the symbol of Lady Liberty—the American ideological standard bearer, don’t you think?  Auntie Em as Lady Liberty.  “Bring me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free…”  Yes, I can see that.

So, let’s bring it home here ourselves:  What is it that we the citizens of this once great country lack here, that we keep searching for in all the wrong places, …with all the wrong characters?

That’s a really good question.

characterscartoonwizozWhat do we feel that we aren’twhat do we feel that we lack—that we are trying so hard to make up for by being so gullible and naïve to believe a guy who stands behind the curtain, pulling levers and pushing buttons to make as much chaos as possible for us in our world?

Maybe as a nation of people searching for true, wise leadership, we feel that we lack genuine moral character ourselves and keep trying to find it in others who only play facsimiles of those roles on television.

[Moral character: The concept of character can imply a variety of attributes including the existence or lack of virtues such as empathy, courage, fortitude, honesty, and loyalty, or of good behaviors or habits.” ]

Yes, I think we fear that as individuals we do lack moral character and instead we look for quality leadership in others to help us make it through more challenging times, rather than believing in ourselves to rise above whatever difficulties we might face.

The main problem for many of us in today’s world is that we have no idea where the attributes of moral character and quality leadership can be found, but I’m pretty sure that they aren’t behind that curtain with the Wiz. youhadthepowerallalong6.png

Let’s look in the mirror instead, because I think the entire point of “The Wizard of Oz” show was to say that’s where genuine moral character and self-determination were to be found all along.

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On Being Positive

If folks think that maintaining a positive attitude in today’s world comes easily, I can posemotibunch.jpgassure them that it isn’t.

When we are enveloped in such blatant cruelty to other human beings—strafed daily with offensive, verbal assaults on our person and our differing ideas—staying positive through all of THAT is quite a trick.

Every morning we have to armor up and set our defense shields to “DEFLECT” just tosupersademotri.png make it through the day. That’s a little sad, don’t you think? (Insert SAD- face emoji here for emphasis.)

Yesterday I watched a lovely, gentle person I know try to defend her immigration/child separation Facebook posts against cruel, heartless comments that countered her message.  I offered my simple “HEART-LIKE” (insert HEART emoji here) to her just to let her know that I stand hearteoti9with her, if only from a distance; but at the same time I know that when we engage on social media with people who strongly disagree with us and disagree with who we are as loving individuals, then they are NOT really our friends, even though they might be on our FRIENDS list.

And if we can’t handle their unkind comments, then we must either remove them as our FRIENDS or stay off the PUBLIC airwaves—it’s that simple.  But then it isn’t really simple, is it?  In fact, it’s a large, complex issue that isn’t going away anytime soon.

Unfortunately the level of venom in today’s public discussion has reached such fever ick emoti8.pngpitch that it’s like watching a foot-long hotdog being torn apart by two ravenous dogs. Something’s gonna give there—and within seconds that once-whole hotdog will never be seen again—at least in the same form that it previously was. (Insert “ICK!” emoji here.)

How can we be positive about the present state of our declining human condition?

A couple days ago I heard someone on a news show discussing what was happening to our sense of civility in general; and this person said something that I agree with: We are in an unmasking period in human interaction where the “shadow-side” of human nature is dislikeemoti84.jpgrising to the surface for all to view and assess.  No more pretending to “tolerate” others. (Never did like that word “tolerate”)

I agree.  Clearly we don’t tolerate dissension now. We don’t tolerate views that differ from our own. We don’t tolerate people who do not look like us or act like us, or talk like us. We don’t rise above our prejudices or biases—we embrace them, right? We remove the mask and say “Hey those of YOU who do not look or think, or act like me, … I hate you! And I’m proud of hating you!  So there!  Deal with it!”

As we now look closely at that unmasking of our deepest and darkest human natures, we say, “Yes, bigotry and prejudice, and racism, and homophobia, and xenophobia, etc….YES, …these all exist in our present world society and in each of us to some degree; and we are not as culturally and consciously advanced as the civilized people that we once believed our nation and the people who compose it, were thought to be.  We are barbarians still—pure and simple—we are still immersed in our primal fears of scarcity and fears of personal annihilation, and we are incapable of rising above those fears!”

We fear “otherness” in general, and in today’s permissive environment we act out those fears in the most putrefying and nauseating ways imaginable.horrifying emoti5

And that’s not just emoji “SAD-face” folks—that is emoji horrifying!    (Insert that nasty thing here.)

 

But yet, ….the POSITIVE from this great unmasking is that people can no longer hide behind who they once pretended to be—because they have been unmasked–unmasked by themselves in all their acrimonious glory–they have all exposed themselves for their true feelings on just about every imaginable subject—whether you wanted to know them or not.

gagmeface6

 

(Insert big “SMILEY-face” here.) ……

 

No, …that’s the “GAG-me” emoji.

Yearning for Normalcy

 

I think we’ve reached a point in our personal/group evolution where we are nearly overwhelmed at the constant chaos in every aspect of our lives and yearn for something more stable and calming.choasmess

That calming influence could mean shutting off media sources or isolating ourselves from the masses; or it could mean simply saying “No,” to attempts to constantly disrupt us. I personally am thankful for the mute button on my TV control.

If you are sick of listening to lies, then stop listening. Meditate, sit in nature, exercise, listen to music, watch inspirational channels or videos that help you reach a deeper part of who you really are.

We always have a choice in what we do and what (or whom) we allow into our lives.

I often talk about how environmental energies are always affecting us, like the energy ocean we swim in daily—the unseen effects of rampant emotions and deliberately sown discord, not to mention the cosmic or solar energies that bombard us 24/7.  Those energies are still strong at present—powerfully disruptive, and they can take a toll on us if we rainbow fractalswirl.jpglet them.

It is documented that full moon energies affect people in strange ways, as do solar flares flood us with higher potency frequencies that disrupt more than radio transmissions. We are all tiny wavelets in a massive ocean of electromagnetic frequencies that ripple about our own little centers while affecting all others nearest to us. When the solar winds whip up, that energy ocean can get pretty choppy.

And yes, in truth we are tired of being so disharmoniously affected by everything we experience. We yearn for homeostasis—a state of equilibrium—a more soothing sense of normalcy.mlkquote normalcy.jpg

However, and there is always a however, what we are daily experiencing is NOT genuine normalcy unless you consider chaos to be the NEW normal, which I refuse to allow as my state of normalcy.

So if you likewise refuse to accept constant chaos in your life, then make the necessary changes in your environment and in your relationships to create for yourself a more stable sense of normalcy. Create a routine that nourishes you, that calms you, that satisfies your need for greater stability. Strategize a plan to provide the creativity from chaosvery feelings and more enjoyable specifics that are presently missing in your life.

Don’t be so acceptant of how chaotic things are at present. Instead, CREATE your life the way you wish it to be.

You have the potential and the ability to do that very thing. You are the main creator here in your life. Those powers are up to you to use or to ignore, but don’t blame others for your lack of something when YOU have the creative juices to produce it for yourself.

As Gandhi said, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”

Be that person who creates the life she desires.creatorofyourlife

Be the force for good—the force for sanity—the force for peaceful coexistence with your neighbors.

BE the NEW NORMAL!

And others will follow you.

On Being Unprovokable

Awhile back I was listening to some “Shift Vision 2020” segments and Shelly Covert bluemeditation.jpg(https://www.shellycovert.net/ ), Native American liaison and activist, was speaking on the state of the world in general. She said that she is usually unprovokable, but lately she was having trouble not reacting to everything she was seeing and hearing happening in her world—meaning in OUR world.

She said, “Trump is the reality check for our time period. You think you are an evolved, compassionate and loving human being?  Then how do you handle the daily insanity coming from the White House when it seems to be destroying every good aspect of our lives?

“Can you witness this without judgment? Can you evoke good intentions toward him and those around him when what you are actually feeling is rage and more homicidal tendencies? How can you stay centered in such a chaotic, daily environment?”

To me her simple statement and those following questions were uncannily accurate because I had felt that very thing that same morning after hearing the latest news show. I also was battling with myself NOT to react to what I had been witnessing on the news, when it filled me with such instant furor.

With some audible frustration in her voice, she said that for our own personal sanity and our sense of inner peace, we have to connect back into the larger energy matrix and get back into alliance with it to smooth out the ragged surface connections we are experiencing at present. We need to re-harmonize those disharmonious vibrations threatening our sense of inner peace and compassion for images.jpgothers.

To do this we have to extend our energetic connections beyond the dissonant surface matrix—to reach outward toward the true Source of ALL where Divine Love and Compassion reside—to go beyond the lunacy of this superficial existence to where Source itself, in all Its Divine Peacefulness, originates.

When we can connect back into our true energetic Source of life itself, then all personal disharmony vanishes, because Divine Source is far too powerful to be innerpeace6.jpgdisrupted by any minor surface static.

She said to be at peace, we must reach for the essence of peace itself and realign ourselves with that. I agree completely.

But I think it’s safe to say that being unprovokable is hard for even the most dedicated pacifists and meditators.

During the 1930’s-40’s, the Indian activist Mahatma Gandhi demonstrated what it really takes to shift power from governing oppressors back to the people of the land: It takes non-violent civil disobedience. Martin Luther King Jr. and many in the Civil Rights struggles of the 1960’s and 70’s (through the present) lived Gandhi’s example on bridges and in indomitablewill4.jpglunchrooms, on buses and in public gatherings around the nation—all with the intention of using the ability to remain unprovokable as an indelible mark in justice for all, and to revive incorruptibility in the American system of government.

I doubt that I personally will ever be unprovokable. I try. I do pull myself back when I feel like throwing things at the television, and simply remember that I’m the only one who controls ME, …so do it.

A little unsolicited advice for those who DO react to every daily, televised horror: Don’t let yourself be provoked or angered. Do something positive instead. Make a difference in some way—but make a positive difference. Shift the energy around you higher, not lower.

In battles with provokers, you only lose when you can be goaded into reacting to them.

So don’t be. Get smart—get organized—and get going. bethechange.jpgIf you want positive change—then make positive change happen.

And please start today!

Our Stuff

“…If we don’t deal with our stuff, it deals with us. There is no way around it….”

Jeff Brown.

stuff

Eclipsing Cultural Archetypes

I knew the transcending archetypes theme would be a multi-part war aech.jpgexploration because the overview intention is to cover how we as a species are actually transcending the great collective warrior archetype—being constantly at war with ourselves and everyone around us.

But before we can examine species transcendence, we have to address our cultural and societal archetypes that presently prevent our future transcendence into a more sage-like existence where wisdom is more appreciated than force or power.

eclipseHere, midst the lunar and solar eclipse season in the USA, it’s not hard to see darkening shadows moving across our society’s sun. The latest insanity involves once latent and now rampantly exposed racism and bigotry across our nation, primarily led by the election of a self-proclaimed change agent “the likes the world has never seen before,” or so he claims.

Actually I’m pretty sure the world has seen a change agent like this before. About 1933 or so, the world took notice of hatred’s rising star at that time in Germany. So, if this hit8.jpgpresident were truly a student of history, which he isn’t—not even the Cliff’s Notes version, he would know that he isn’t unique. He’s just rehashed and reheated fascism at its worst.

What the Donald doesn’t realize is that the rest of us who DO know history know Hitler’s story in its entirety, and how it progressed into authoritarian madness for the world and all the people in his march of destruction.

How this could happen in our nation, is the same question that I’m sure many sensible and intelligent Germans asked themselves at the time of Hitler’s rise to power. What perfect societal storm made the conditions ripe for a narcissistic sociopath to come to the forefront, other than he knew how to successfully con people into believing in what he was selling because he’d done it all his life? That, and his backers (in this country and questionable others) threw all their billions behind destroying the opposition before him.

So here we are left with the aftermath of bad electoral decisions and their resonating, worldwide consequences.

kid w glasses.jpegHowever, what happened over the last week since the lunar eclipse, until the present with the solar eclipse diagonally crossing the entire nation today, has shifted the nation’s collective attitude and perspective so radically into resisting the hatred and bigotry espoused by the president and his minions of white nationalism, that it was like whiplash to the rest of us watching it happen.

City by city, for every white nationalist rally across the country, the countering peace/resistance rallies absolutely engulfed them. After the first skirmish in Charlottesville, VA, where the president spouted his support for the “free-speechers” of the alt-right at a press conference, then BOOM—the country and even Republican law-makers fought back to say, “Not on my streets!!!—Not in MY country!!!”race riot.jpg

I’m pretty sure this reverberating fallout from showing his true colors on national television isn’t over yet. And actually I was almost surprised that only Bannon got the boot so far when I’m nearly certain Amendment 25 was on the Security Council’s minds, if not lips, at Friday’s session at Camp David. I mean, isn’t that why Mike Pence was called back from South America? That’s what I would assume would be serious enough to make him cut his trip short. National Security can also mean eliminating internal threats to the country and people, which is what he most represents now.

We’ll see I guess. Once the successful businessman façade is completely torn away and the man’s character is exposed in its absolute moral bankruptcy, then there will be little left for even his most devoted followers to exalt.

So one major archetype is under close scrutiny and eventual trump whitetransformation right now—the archetype of a strong leader must be more closely examined to reveal what actually defines leadership for the future of civilization in general.

Pretty sure the present example lumbering over the ‘White House’ golf course in Jersey isn’t it.

Being Honest with Oneself

A couple weeks ago I read a man’s revealing blog entry about how his world was suddenly upended by his loving wife dying from a fast-acting form of cancer. He wrote how he simply came apart after her death and spent the majority of his time tipping a bottle. What saved him, he said, was bottoming out, letting everything go, and being brutally honest with himself about every aspect of his past, present, and future without her.

While these words below (inspired by his article) are mine and not his, it was a powerful and hopeful message that needed to be shared—how he slowly rebuilt his life from the ground up by changing how he viewed his role in the process.  I’d like to list his url page of the article here for all to read it directly but unfortunately I can’t locate it again. Sorry. This fictional account is the best I can do.

***

Jack, my counselor, told me he had one rule, and that was to be honest in our talks. “Be honest?” I sneered back at him. The only truth I knew for certain was that I was still sinking in a tar pit of pain over my wife’s sudden illness and death that past year—I raged for half an hour at the unfairness of it all to both of us.  “You want REAL?” I told him, “THAT is very real to me—so there Jack, THAT is my being honest with you!”

My counselor then said to use that very real pain as the starting point to feeling what truth is for me—to use it as the gauge of honesty for every other aspect of my life to help determine what I expected from life in general, and even more importantly, what life might actually expect from me—which made no sense at all to me back then. “What LIFE expects from me?” I yelled, “Screw life! What did it ever do but give me more pain?”

He said that if I could just be honest with myself over what I truly felt for my wife before and after her illness, and allowed myself to feel the real depth of my loss over her death, then I could be honest about other parts of myself as well. That honesty, he said, would help me determine how I wanted to live the rest of my life.

The booze, he said, was keeping me from ‘feeling’ in general because if I never really let myself feel the pain, then I could never get past the pain to move on from there.

The court-required AA meetings helped because other addicts/alcoholics won’t let you lie about what you do or why you do it. They know. They’ve been there. They’ve said and done the same things, and they call you out on your stuff. You can’t hide it from them. You get that real fast. And I needed that.  I needed their truthfulness to help me uncover my own.

But I wouldn’t call those meetings support as much as I’d call it a mirror held up to your face that you can’t avoid.  There you are—twenty or so different versions of you—all gathered in one room sharing stories, shame, and self-loathing.  And there I was with a bunch of other people supposedly just like me—like being called by some other name to tell something similar to my story, like Jim or John or Lori, …or Frank or Jerry—but they were all different versions of me. “Same brand of ice cream, just a different flavor,” Jack said.

Well I didn’t like how that made me feel, so I told them about it. Said I didn’t belong there.

“Accept it,” they said. “We are alcoholics. You’re an alcoholic—lying is what you do, especially to yourself.  That’s who you are because that’s the most comfortable way to be—at least it always has been. Problem now is that even lying doesn’t work for you anymore.”

They were rough with me at times because I was so stuck in denial—claiming I was the victim here—why couldn’t they see that? One guy even pointed to me and said, “You want to keep seeing this same lying sack of shit staring back at you every time you look in the bathroom mirror? NO? Then change what you’re doing—change what you’re thinking. Because if you can’t accept the living proof of who and what you are sitting here all around you—if you can’t stand to think that you’ve been lying to yourself and to everyone you say you loved day after day for most of your life, then don’t expect your future to be any different. It’s your choice. YOUR choice, man!”

The “Your choice!” repeated over and over in their own stories. It’s always your choice. It’s your decision. “No one makes it but you,” they kept saying. “It isn’t really about life’s unfairness, or how much you miss your wife,” one of them told me. It was about being honest with myself about what I was feeling—what I still AM feeling about it all, and deciding if that’s what I want to feel in the future.

“If you can do that,” my counselor who led the group said, “if you can be honest with yourself, then you can pull yourself together and get on with your new life without the booze. But it’s really up to you.”

And as a parting shot, another guy who looked a lot like my sleezy Uncle Charlie, who was the last person in the world I ever wanted a lecture like this from, told me, “If you aren’t willing to help yourself buddy, don’t expect us to help you.”

Well, a couple years later I can tell you that it wasn’t easy by any means. Some days are still a struggle, but eventually I learned to view that past history of my previous self and life in a different way—what Jack called “in a more constructive manner”—one where I could refocus on how I had survived those painful life lessons, and use that survivor mentality to help me feel good about myself again, …which was far better than feeling so rotten all the time, where I simply wanted to numb myself into la-la land with the booze.

But maintaining the what Jack had named “lesson-filled, boot-camp view” of my previous life which he said I had successfully survived, was a difficult choice that I had to keep making day after day—sometimes every minute of the day for awhile, until I grew more comfortable in my new skin.

And getting to know this new me who thought and acted completely different from the old me, was the hardest part of it, because I finally realized that for 42 years I’d basically been doing nothing more than lying to myself, so I hardly knew what truth looked like, or even what being truthful felt like.

In fact the more I considered it, I’m not sure that I had ever been honest with anyone, let alone being honest with myself back then.

Was everything I’d said and done in my entire life a lie? If so, then wasn’t any part of it real? And what part of me was the real ME who was actually worth knowing? To figure that out, Jack tried to flip my mind again to see WHO it was that I wanted to become, to know how to get there. He said it was like creating an image of the new and better me that I would simply have to GROW into. But how could I do that?

Jack framed it to me this way: If I were the adult parent of a newborn ME ready to be introduced into this world full of challenges and wonders, what kind of parent would I truly need to be to successfully raise baby ME into a solid, well-balanced adult? Would I need a critical, demanding, drill sergeant constantly condemning ME and beating me down for my failings, or a nurturing, caring, coach continually encouraging my daily progress and raising me up to feel good about myself?

Not a tough choice, really. I didn’t need to feel any worse about myself than what I’d already been feeling.  What I needed was to feel more loved and supported than I had actually felt throughout most my childhood. Jack agreed. He said what I needed to help me succeed in my new life direction was my own loving guidance and support, not more self-condemnation.

Per Jack’s instructions, every morning now when I look in the bathroom mirror, I ask myself this question: “How are you going to encourage the best from that young kid in you today—how are you going to parent yourself to become a strong and loving person?”

Then I look right into my own eyes and say the words of a speech I’d memorized for doing this daily self pep-talk, “How can I express myself in more compassionate ways—in ways that other loving and caring people want to share in—ways that help them to recognize the goodness of my heart so they want to become more a part of my life?”

“How can I be a good person?”  I ask the ME staring back in all my imperfections. And that’s the goal I set for the day—every day—just trying to be a good person in some way—trying to help somebody or to do something nice for somebody else, because it makes me feel good when I can do that. And the more good I do for others, the better I feel about myself. Funny I know, but that’s how it is.

Well, as you can see, I’m still working on that goal of being a better person. But I wanted others to know that being honest with myself was a key to clearing out the garbage from my life. Think about it: You got to keep taking out the trash to keep from stinking up the house.

And if that ain’t being honest, …then I don’t know what is.