On Being Positive

If folks think that maintaining a positive attitude in today’s world comes easily, I can posemotibunch.jpgassure them that it isn’t.

When we are enveloped in such blatant cruelty to other human beings—strafed daily with offensive, verbal assaults on our person and our differing ideas—staying positive through all of THAT is quite a trick.

Every morning we have to armor up and set our defense shields to “DEFLECT” just tosupersademotri.png make it through the day. That’s a little sad, don’t you think? (Insert SAD- face emoji here for emphasis.)

Yesterday I watched a lovely, gentle person I know try to defend her immigration/child separation Facebook posts against cruel, heartless comments that countered her message.  I offered my simple “HEART-LIKE” (insert HEART emoji here) to her just to let her know that I stand hearteoti9with her, if only from a distance; but at the same time I know that when we engage on social media with people who strongly disagree with us and disagree with who we are as loving individuals, then they are NOT really our friends, even though they might be on our FRIENDS list.

And if we can’t handle their unkind comments, then we must either remove them as our FRIENDS or stay off the PUBLIC airwaves—it’s that simple.  But then it isn’t really simple, is it?  In fact, it’s a large, complex issue that isn’t going away anytime soon.

Unfortunately the level of venom in today’s public discussion has reached such fever ick emoti8.pngpitch that it’s like watching a foot-long hotdog being torn apart by two ravenous dogs. Something’s gonna give there—and within seconds that once-whole hotdog will never be seen again—at least in the same form that it previously was. (Insert “ICK!” emoji here.)

How can we be positive about the present state of our declining human condition?

A couple days ago I heard someone on a news show discussing what was happening to our sense of civility in general; and this person said something that I agree with: We are in an unmasking period in human interaction where the “shadow-side” of human nature is dislikeemoti84.jpgrising to the surface for all to view and assess.  No more pretending to “tolerate” others. (Never did like that word “tolerate”)

I agree.  Clearly we don’t tolerate dissension now. We don’t tolerate views that differ from our own. We don’t tolerate people who do not look like us or act like us, or talk like us. We don’t rise above our prejudices or biases—we embrace them, right? We remove the mask and say “Hey those of YOU who do not look or think, or act like me, … I hate you! And I’m proud of hating you!  So there!  Deal with it!”

As we now look closely at that unmasking of our deepest and darkest human natures, we say, “Yes, bigotry and prejudice, and racism, and homophobia, and xenophobia, etc….YES, …these all exist in our present world society and in each of us to some degree; and we are not as culturally and consciously advanced as the civilized people that we once believed our nation and the people who compose it, were thought to be.  We are barbarians still—pure and simple—we are still immersed in our primal fears of scarcity and fears of personal annihilation, and we are incapable of rising above those fears!”

We fear “otherness” in general, and in today’s permissive environment we act out those fears in the most putrefying and nauseating ways imaginable.horrifying emoti5

And that’s not just emoji “SAD-face” folks—that is emoji horrifying!    (Insert that nasty thing here.)

 

But yet, ….the POSITIVE from this great unmasking is that people can no longer hide behind who they once pretended to be—because they have been unmasked–unmasked by themselves in all their acrimonious glory–they have all exposed themselves for their true feelings on just about every imaginable subject—whether you wanted to know them or not.

gagmeface6

 

(Insert big “SMILEY-face” here.) ……

 

No, …that’s the “GAG-me” emoji.

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Conundrums

Some part of me knows that whatever is happening around us or in the world at large is likely a part of something far bigger than my own comprehension and concerns.

changevoteThat same part of me that knows this, also knows that severe irritants are often the catalysts to extreme but necessary change.

That’s all well and good, but I think that this same part of me that is so all-seeing and all-knowing should now move from the back seat to the front because the view from my vehicle’s windshield is becoming much harder to navigate through when so much smoke and debris have clouded the road ahead.

What I know for certain: Something BIG is happening behind the scenes.  I know this because I can FEEL it.  It is in the energies rippling through us at present.

I don’t know exactly what that BIG thing is other than it feels a lot like the energies of mass rebellion.

When major shifts in awareness occur they don’t usually come with pounding fists andchangeandcourageflag screaming animosities—although those are the results of voices too long ignored.  No, genuine awareness shifts come in more quiet clandestine ways. Those are by far the sneakiest and most effective changes made around us.  I think that is happening now.

The biggest conundrum I personally face is the one of determining the right response for me to what I am seeing and feeling happening to this country and to the world we share.

Of course I want to rant and rave, to stomp my feet and shake my fists. I want to shout: “Stop being so stupid people!  Don’t you see what you are doing by allowing this constant insanity to persist?”

And yet I know that adding to the venomous airwaves only increases the likelihood that no real, higher consciousness change will occur.

What I view as hopeful and extremely powerful are the semi-quiet, large gatherings of people—voters—who are ready for full-scale change out of representatives to congress.  swarzneggerquotecourage.pngThey feel, like I do, that if our elected representatives are allowing this presidential insanity to continue, then they are not really concerned about our democracy, our constitution, or our nation’s defense or perpetuation.

They are more concerned about “tweets.”

That’s a bit disconcerting, don’t you think—for Congressional representatives and senators to be concerned about presidential “tweets.”

Long ago, Stephan Crane wrote about a young, civil-war soldier’s wish for a bloodstained uniform to show others he met along redbadgecourage.jpgthe road that he wasn’t the coward that he had just proven himself to be, because the blood itself stood as “A Red Badge of Courage” for all to see, even when he wasn’t courageous or brave enough to face the enemy fire head-on that day he ran from the battle.

IT’s a bit of disheartening to see so many in Congress afraid of a little battle of words when they are so willing to send our soldiers into real battles to die for our supposed American ideals that they themselves are so afraid of upholding.

My personal conundrum is how to be “positive” about this ludicrous yet deadly serious situation.

Well, the one positive choice that I do see in all of this chaotic mess is the plan to change out our elected representatives with new ones who DO care about our American ideals and our democratic constitution.

That sounds like a good plan to me.  No conundrum there.

Let’s just do it!

Living Beyond Fear

These are my lengthy notes from hearing Sara Landon speaking sara-landon.pngon “Reclaim Your Power” from 3-13-18, on the “Beyond the Ordinary Show”. (Hopefully this link will work for you, if not you can join the “Beyond the Ordinary Show” where you can access all of the speakers.) This one is definitely worth hearing.

https://www.beyondtheordinaryshow.com/replays/?inf_contact_key=b131e9fd0c693e475c31655b56f40538b9b7fc9a178e657498960ad4d4142e2d

(Most of these notes are either direct quotes or are quickly paraphrased as I listened to Sara, so please pardon my not using quotation marks. If it is MY opinion, I put it in parentheses.)

We are allowing our deepest core fears to come to the surface now. We must choose a new way to be—a new way to react.  It takes courage to live now. Give yourself permission to see what your deepest fears are and how they have controlled every part feargraphicof your life—how those deepest fears have caused chaos, confusion and suffering in your life.  People are now leading others through promoting fear.  Our visceral responses to watching others lead through fear—living in fear—is adversely affecting us. By living in fear, we are giving our personal power over to others. So this time period in the world is all about you taking back power over your own life.

5 signs that you are giving your power away:

  1. Dysfunctional relationship patterns repeating over and over
  2. Health Issues
  3. Money Issues
  4. Addiction issues
  5. Career/financial stability problems

We are at the time when these fears have come out of the dark and into the light.  Now we can process through them and change them.  Are you feeling isolated and in self-doubt?  How do you take power back over your life?

What is power and why do you want it?

Power is the ability to create a desired result. You have the ability to create a desired result. You can get what you want. Sometimes we live our lives in avoidance of unwanted things rather than focusing on creating the things we DO want in our lives.

What is your deepest fear?

Ask yourself this.  Many say they fear not being loved or fear being alone.

We often do things to avoid being unloved and to NOT be alone, so we tend to give our power away to others, just to avoid those things.loveyourselfmore

Her Council said that: “Our greatest achievement in this life is SELF-love.”   If we can love ourselves, we can change the world and learn to love all others again. Self-love is not narcissism. It is a deep acceptance that “I am okay at my core being. I am really okay. It is okay to just be ME.”

There are only two innate fears that we are born with: Fear of falling and the fear of loud noises. All other fears are learned.   That means that all other fears were created in highly emotional personal experiences, either personally felt or witnessed interacting with others, or from media sources—like watching a scary movie or TV show.

We experienced the trauma and felt the toxic emotions associated with that fear, whether real or imagined, and we replayed it in our mind until it became a subconscious behavior program that now frames every aspect of our lives.

How do we reclaim our power? Our deepest instinct is to be a part of the tribe—it is survival related. Your chances of survival were stronger within a group community rather than on your own alone.

There’s a survival instinct for connection. So we often give our power away just to fit into the group or to be loved or accepted by others. The fear of not being loved or not being enough turns us into people-pleasers. We give our power away to fit in and feel accepted. The “unacceptable by others” aspect of us is the part that we hide or push down, or deny that even exists.

All of your true power lives in the NOW.  NOW is the power point. Fear lives in the past powerofnowtitleand the future. NOW is the moment you can change and address with love and determination rather than cower in the shadows because of your future fears. Your fears keep you from experiencing your peace and joy in the NOW.

 

What do you desire to create? That must be your focus. So address the main fear you hold.  Ask yourself, “What is my main fear?” Get quiet—go deep—be honest with yourself.

We bring the fears to the surface so we can examine them and release them—let them go.  (ME: Do a ceremony over releasing your fears.  Write them on paper, say a prayer of release, and then burn the paper. Exhale forcefully and physically blow those fear energies out of your body. Repeat 3-4 times.)

When fearful situations arise, they are good things!  They help us recognize the fear behind our motives and actions, and enable us to address it and release it.  Sometimes these base fears arise during our childhood when we are unable to defend ourselves, so back then we felt helpless, defenseless—now in the childhood fear.jpgpresent situation when similar emotions are triggered, even if it isn’t exactly the same situation, that same base fear arises and we are stuck in that fear and feel as helpless as we once did as a child. So we have to examine the fear and deconstruct it for all the components to see that we are now inherently safe because we are now able to better protect ourselves and to choose our responses and actions, rather than having the intentions/actions of others forced upon us.

This is when we learn to react differently in the NOW—stopping the looped pattern of reaction and behavior—and creating new patterns of response, and to reprogram our neural networks to develop new ways of looking at similar situations and new ways of reacting, or NOT reacting, to whatever is happening around you.

If you are feeling fearful, then stop yourself, calm yourself down, breathe deeply expelling the fear energies, and put your hand on your heart and say to yourself, “I’m okay.  I’m really okay.” And breathe through it. Keep doing that until your energy shifts higher.

Once the fearful thoughts are neutralized, then shift your awareness to that of feeling deeply at peace inside. Feel that peace in your heart area.  Really feel the peace of the moment where you are holding peace for yourself. Neutralize the once fearful thoughts using the desired feeling of peace and wellbeing, then you can move forward with your life from that still-point of peace and being in your own power w/o allowing any fear to adversely affect you. You eliminate the fear from your life.ichoosetobeme

Keep this thought in mind:  It’s okay to say NO to other people.  It’s okay to create space for yourself. That’s how you take back your power. Clarity often comes with a little bit of solitude where you can actually hear yourself, rather than hearing others barking at you.

Create time for yourself. Take time, like early in the morning, to create in your mind your perfect day ….no matter what you might actually face that day—create YOUR perfect day first in your mind.  That’s the energy you want to attract.

What do you really want in your life? That is your new focus. Make the time for yourself to determine what you DO want, and decide what you need to do to get it.

On limiting beliefs expressed around you …If your vibration is high enough, a limiting belief doesn’t matter. …When you are in alignment with your soul, limiting beliefs do not matter because you are able to easily release those beliefs from your consciousness.

But if you find yourself reacting adversely to others, then there is a subconscious program within you that is allowing you to be triggered by the person or the situation. That is actually the opportunity to allow the deeper hidden fear to surface for release.  We release those fears to move forward in creating the life we desire. So getting triggered by others is simply a good way to recognize another deeply held fear for your intentional release. (It may not feel like it at the time, but that person is doing you a favor by aggravating you.)

bringittolightWe bring it from the subconscious to consciousness to deal with it. 

Bring it from the darkness to the light.

That’s where you can look more closely at it, and then let it go.

You release your fears to feel your true inner peace.

When you are living your true potential, you are living your highest joy.

That is living beyond fear.

Me, Against the World

me world.jpgI had someone say this to me once—something to the effect that I acted like it was ‘me, against the world.’

“So?” I asked him back, “You mean it isn’t?”

While I might be able to laugh about it now, he likely had a point that I couldn’t see at the time. However, he also didn’t live in my skin back then to know how the world and everyone in it actually appeared to me.

I think all of us have lived through difficulties either of our own making or we’ve been the recipients of the attempted manipulations or the ill will of others. Yes, there are some genuinely nice, caring people in the world—I do know some, but at the time, they either weren’t in my circle of intimacy or they had stepped back and decided it was up to me to sink or swim by myself.

Back then I felt that I had been betrayed by the people I had called my friends—that I’d even been abandoned by those I cared most about; that they left me to survive alone with little resources abandoned.jpgor options other than by my own indomitable will.

At the worst of the worst, all I knew was that some way, somehow, I had to make it through each day and night, and to do that I needed to muster my own inner fortitude to simply endure the horror of everything that I was experiencing and to keep pushing through the darkness until something in my life changed for the better—until I could actually see the light again and pull myself out of that underworld hell I’d unfortunately been touring.

I could give specifics, but they don’t really matter because it’s all about the lessons we learn along the way. Everyone has a story. Everyone has a challenge that pits them lifes challengesagainst the demons, real or imagined, in their lives. Everyone has the choice to fight for their own existence or to lie down and die, hoping death will free them from the torment (It won’t—don’t try it—your next-life challenge might be even worse.).

So sure, I might do the ‘me, against the world,’ thing at times. That’s fine. I’ve earned the right to do it if that’s what I want to do, because I did survive my personal ordeal to be here right now laughing about some aspects of it with the rest of you.

No one gets out of this life untested in some way, primarily because it’s why you came. You came to be tested. You came to be thrown into the blast furnace of your choosing and then be hammered into strong steel for whatever purpose your present life represents.

That’s why you are here: To learn, to experience the joys and sorrows of life on this dimension of existence.  Sometimes the joys are indescribable and sometimes the sorrows are nearly unbearable, but only YOU can choose to share them with others or face them alone.

myss quoteI know now that I’m not really alone here. I never was.

But those dark nights of the soul that we ALL must face sooner or later only strengthens our resolve to better appreciate the beauty of the light again, once we can pull ourselves out of that damn hole that we’ve stumbled (or jumped) into earlier.

That’s the real choice we make each day: the choice to whine and wallow away in the darkness, or to climb out of that stinking hole and come back into the light.

It’s a choice we ALL have to make.light.jpg

I made mine. I prefer the light.

Being Honest with Oneself

A couple weeks ago I read a man’s revealing blog entry about how his world was suddenly upended by his loving wife dying from a fast-acting form of cancer. He wrote how he simply came apart after her death and spent the majority of his time tipping a bottle. What saved him, he said, was bottoming out, letting everything go, and being brutally honest with himself about every aspect of his past, present, and future without her.

While these words below (inspired by his article) are mine and not his, it was a powerful and hopeful message that needed to be shared—how he slowly rebuilt his life from the ground up by changing how he viewed his role in the process.  I’d like to list his url page of the article here for all to read it directly but unfortunately I can’t locate it again. Sorry. This fictional account is the best I can do.

***

Jack, my counselor, told me he had one rule, and that was to be honest in our talks. “Be honest?” I sneered back at him. The only truth I knew for certain was that I was still sinking in a tar pit of pain over my wife’s sudden illness and death that past year—I raged for half an hour at the unfairness of it all to both of us.  “You want REAL?” I told him, “THAT is very real to me—so there Jack, THAT is my being honest with you!”

My counselor then said to use that very real pain as the starting point to feeling what truth is for me—to use it as the gauge of honesty for every other aspect of my life to help determine what I expected from life in general, and even more importantly, what life might actually expect from me—which made no sense at all to me back then. “What LIFE expects from me?” I yelled, “Screw life! What did it ever do but give me more pain?”

He said that if I could just be honest with myself over what I truly felt for my wife before and after her illness, and allowed myself to feel the real depth of my loss over her death, then I could be honest about other parts of myself as well. That honesty, he said, would help me determine how I wanted to live the rest of my life.

The booze, he said, was keeping me from ‘feeling’ in general because if I never really let myself feel the pain, then I could never get past the pain to move on from there.

The court-required AA meetings helped because other addicts/alcoholics won’t let you lie about what you do or why you do it. They know. They’ve been there. They’ve said and done the same things, and they call you out on your stuff. You can’t hide it from them. You get that real fast. And I needed that.  I needed their truthfulness to help me uncover my own.

But I wouldn’t call those meetings support as much as I’d call it a mirror held up to your face that you can’t avoid.  There you are—twenty or so different versions of you—all gathered in one room sharing stories, shame, and self-loathing.  And there I was with a bunch of other people supposedly just like me—like being called by some other name to tell something similar to my story, like Jim or John or Lori, …or Frank or Jerry—but they were all different versions of me. “Same brand of ice cream, just a different flavor,” Jack said.

Well I didn’t like how that made me feel, so I told them about it. Said I didn’t belong there.

“Accept it,” they said. “We are alcoholics. You’re an alcoholic—lying is what you do, especially to yourself.  That’s who you are because that’s the most comfortable way to be—at least it always has been. Problem now is that even lying doesn’t work for you anymore.”

They were rough with me at times because I was so stuck in denial—claiming I was the victim here—why couldn’t they see that? One guy even pointed to me and said, “You want to keep seeing this same lying sack of shit staring back at you every time you look in the bathroom mirror? NO? Then change what you’re doing—change what you’re thinking. Because if you can’t accept the living proof of who and what you are sitting here all around you—if you can’t stand to think that you’ve been lying to yourself and to everyone you say you loved day after day for most of your life, then don’t expect your future to be any different. It’s your choice. YOUR choice, man!”

The “Your choice!” repeated over and over in their own stories. It’s always your choice. It’s your decision. “No one makes it but you,” they kept saying. “It isn’t really about life’s unfairness, or how much you miss your wife,” one of them told me. It was about being honest with myself about what I was feeling—what I still AM feeling about it all, and deciding if that’s what I want to feel in the future.

“If you can do that,” my counselor who led the group said, “if you can be honest with yourself, then you can pull yourself together and get on with your new life without the booze. But it’s really up to you.”

And as a parting shot, another guy who looked a lot like my sleezy Uncle Charlie, who was the last person in the world I ever wanted a lecture like this from, told me, “If you aren’t willing to help yourself buddy, don’t expect us to help you.”

Well, a couple years later I can tell you that it wasn’t easy by any means. Some days are still a struggle, but eventually I learned to view that past history of my previous self and life in a different way—what Jack called “in a more constructive manner”—one where I could refocus on how I had survived those painful life lessons, and use that survivor mentality to help me feel good about myself again, …which was far better than feeling so rotten all the time, where I simply wanted to numb myself into la-la land with the booze.

But maintaining the what Jack had named “lesson-filled, boot-camp view” of my previous life which he said I had successfully survived, was a difficult choice that I had to keep making day after day—sometimes every minute of the day for awhile, until I grew more comfortable in my new skin.

And getting to know this new me who thought and acted completely different from the old me, was the hardest part of it, because I finally realized that for 42 years I’d basically been doing nothing more than lying to myself, so I hardly knew what truth looked like, or even what being truthful felt like.

In fact the more I considered it, I’m not sure that I had ever been honest with anyone, let alone being honest with myself back then.

Was everything I’d said and done in my entire life a lie? If so, then wasn’t any part of it real? And what part of me was the real ME who was actually worth knowing? To figure that out, Jack tried to flip my mind again to see WHO it was that I wanted to become, to know how to get there. He said it was like creating an image of the new and better me that I would simply have to GROW into. But how could I do that?

Jack framed it to me this way: If I were the adult parent of a newborn ME ready to be introduced into this world full of challenges and wonders, what kind of parent would I truly need to be to successfully raise baby ME into a solid, well-balanced adult? Would I need a critical, demanding, drill sergeant constantly condemning ME and beating me down for my failings, or a nurturing, caring, coach continually encouraging my daily progress and raising me up to feel good about myself?

Not a tough choice, really. I didn’t need to feel any worse about myself than what I’d already been feeling.  What I needed was to feel more loved and supported than I had actually felt throughout most my childhood. Jack agreed. He said what I needed to help me succeed in my new life direction was my own loving guidance and support, not more self-condemnation.

Per Jack’s instructions, every morning now when I look in the bathroom mirror, I ask myself this question: “How are you going to encourage the best from that young kid in you today—how are you going to parent yourself to become a strong and loving person?”

Then I look right into my own eyes and say the words of a speech I’d memorized for doing this daily self pep-talk, “How can I express myself in more compassionate ways—in ways that other loving and caring people want to share in—ways that help them to recognize the goodness of my heart so they want to become more a part of my life?”

“How can I be a good person?”  I ask the ME staring back in all my imperfections. And that’s the goal I set for the day—every day—just trying to be a good person in some way—trying to help somebody or to do something nice for somebody else, because it makes me feel good when I can do that. And the more good I do for others, the better I feel about myself. Funny I know, but that’s how it is.

Well, as you can see, I’m still working on that goal of being a better person. But I wanted others to know that being honest with myself was a key to clearing out the garbage from my life. Think about it: You got to keep taking out the trash to keep from stinking up the house.

And if that ain’t being honest, …then I don’t know what is.

Treatise on Integrity

integrit paper.jpg“Integrity: That which shall be humanly borne and displayed as an essential aspect of truth.”

Well that’s my definition of integrity if no one else’s.

“To live with integrity is to be intimately aligned to one’s truth and core values.”

Again, that’s my take on it.

But I do know from personal experience that if you live your life with integrity and truthfulness, you will never be disappointed in yourself.

There will be others who might not be very happy with you at times, especially when your integrity blocks their intentions, but you will stay true to your own ideals if you maintain your sense of personal integrity and right-action focus.

So what does this mean in today’s integrity-starved world?

For one thing, you will definitely stand out from the crowd—you might even be the focal point of the crowd’s anger, which isn’t the most enjoyable place to be.integrit 2

For another, you will find yourself reaching very deep within for the strength and courage to keep your integrity untarnished amidst the constant deluge of complaints and insults slung in your direction.

Another possibility? You might lose a friend or two during the process of staying true to your own beliefs on the rightness of a situation or an action.

But the really strange thing about personal integrity is that nearly everyone believes that THEIR core beliefs and the courage of THEIR convictions are the only TRUE ones possible, which makes the rest of our efforts to maintain personal integrity questionable to them.

integrit 3As much as I value integrity and truth, and I definitely do value them, I also know that what I believe to be the ultimate TRUTH may not be the same as what others believe it to be. We don’t all think and feel the same.

Furthermore, in my rational mind I know that truth is often the perspective of whoever is holding that viewpoint.

But also in my being I know that what I stand for as a loving and compassionate human being is as strong and unwavering as any army’s professed allegiance to any person, place or belief.

Stubbornness is my finest trait or so I’ve been told, because to me integrity is a core value that is worthy of staking one’s integrit 1personal reputation on and/or career future. Holding one’s personal integrity firm and unbending can define us as compassionate human beings when others around us flutter in the winds of political change and collective opinion.

In the largest sense, our Nation was built on certain fundamental assumptions on rightness and fairness, on equity and justice; and when the integrity of any democratically elected official is in question or fluctuating toward non-democratic ideals, then further exposition and assessment of possible wrong-doing must be allowed to happen. The democracy that supports us depends on the integrity of those who lead it.

If we can’t at least rely on a leader’s integrity to do what is lawful and right as guaranteed to us by our U.S. constitution, then we have little firm ground on which to take a stand.

integ world

As I mentioned previously, maintaining one’s integrity is often a tough and lonely stance to take in the face of tumultuous, self-serving opposition, but sometimes it is the only stand we truly have before we are driven to our knees.

Overload

He should have come with a Users Manual and a RETURN POLICY.return.jpg

And on the very first page of that manual, in large BOLD print, it should have said, “WARNING: Frequent tweets of lunacy can lead to public overload with serious consequences for sanity.”

I think many of us about now are feeling the weight of not having that RETURN POLICY.

In fact, this whole situation would seem hilarious, if it weren’t so serious.

It would be even be comical, if it weren’t so dangerous.

And as each day mushes into the next, with verbal attacks on anyone and everyone who questions his statements and actions, we sit back—shell-shocked at the realization that this totally incompetent, petulant, moron has control of the nuclear codes that can instantly plunge the entire world into truth.jpgmass incineration beyond human comprehension.

But don’t worry.

Don’t believe the “lying press” who simply record and replay his every tantrum.

 

We know that “alternate truth” will win out in the end.

Murrow.jpg

It did for Hitler,  …..at least for awhile.