Endings, Beginnings, and Something In-between

If you thought that the beginning of October felt different energy-wise than did the previous month of September, you are not alone. I felt a large energy shift in the collective energies from near-stationary stagnation to a mountainous boulder beginning boulder.jpgto roll—although it is picking up speed in extreme slow motion. I won’t say that we are fully rolling downhill yet, but we are definitely moving forward with increased speed. Once gravity kicks in, it will be full tilt toward whatever end is in sight. (And it doesn’t have to be a cataclysmic occurrence—it could be a major breakthrough—depends on the collective intention attracting the major change to all of us.)

What that means is that things are going to POP soon…. events will transpire that shake everyone off our usual ho-hum centers.  And I don’t mean to lessen the impact of all these natural disasters occurring throughout the continental United States and territories the last few months that have put everyone on notice to how fast your safe and secure life can change in an instant; but I’m referring to something even more shocking, sudden and dramatic than that, …as if what has already occurred wasn’t dramatic and life-changing enough for us.biggie.jpg

Yes, I think we are due for a biggie very soon!

What constitutes a biggie, you might ask?

I would say a biggie is an event the size of President Kennedy being killed in Dallas that sad day on November 22, 1963; or on the more pleasant side, the day the Berlin Wall was opened and then dismantled by the cheering crowd, brick by brick, and stone by stone on November 9th, 1989.

Hmmm, there seems to be a similar month in which these major things have happened: November—just a couple weeks away.

Lao tsuAnd for those of us who weren’t that happy with last November’s election results, how about Nov 8th, 2016? That was a world-shaking day, wasn’t it, likely from either political party’s vantage, not to mention our world-wide ally’s confusion.

All I know is that the collective anxiety-energies last year felt quite different to me than they feel at present. These present collective energies are powerful and feel more like rug-shaking. Like something is going to break soon and it could mean BIG changes everywhere.

Should we be excited about it?

I honestly don’t know. Big change usually comes at a large cost to someone. Ask anyone who has lost family members, or a home, or a way of life. Change isn’t always pleasant or welcome, but BIG end to begin.jpgchange is unavoidable—it simply IS. It is direction changing—like when part of the mountain slope suddenly UPLIFTS and sends the rolling boulder moving in the opposite direction, which is NOW the NEW downhill.

When these BIG collective energy shifts occur you move forward from that point on. You stop, shake your head and collect yourself.  You recognize that life has left you shaken or stunned, but you can’t stay that way long. So you gradually move forward again, inch by inch, step by step, until you realize that THIS is what your life must now be—because everything has CHANGED from what it once was. This is your NEW direction for awhile.

Change is coming soon. The energies are primed to explode. Let’s hope for a collectively-pleasant biggie!

Advertisements

The Overview

What’s the overview here? Day after day I keep asking myself that question.multi

Why are so many suffering in such horrendous conditions all over the world?

It’s easy to get caught up in the disasters occurring nationally and globally, especially when they directly affect you or the friends you care about in some way, but what is the overview of what is actually happening worldwide and WHY is it happening? Is that is even discernible?

There are many distinct possibilities to consider: climate change, nuclear testing, fracking, air and water pollution, over-populations, disruption of natural eco-systems, solar flares and excess solar activity, pole wobble, electromagnetic devastationfluctuations, mankind proliferating in general and all the corresponding havoc that creates, etc..

Then there are all the subheads under “mankind in general” like: stupidity, greed, self-interest, maliciousness, vindictiveness, fearfulness, fratricide, sociopathic and psychotic behavior, to name a few easily recognizable traits.

I haven’t even touched the theology-related excuses for reasons too onerous to god disastmention all basically claiming God’s displeasure over some aspect of our existence that doesn’t adhere to the doctrine being prescribed by a believer.

I don’t even want to go there!

BUT…at the same time a part of me says that to do an accurate overview you have to be able to VIEW the entirety of the situation from a perspective distant enough to allow random chaos to form patterns of coherence. And WHO/WHAT handles that type of perspective other than an omniscient/all powerful being or force that not only understands the logic of what is occurring but INITIATES the situations that create the aforementioned chaos for a reason we are not able to discern.

catch 22.jpgIt’s a Catch-22. The (book and movie) World War II scenario think-process: You’re claiming to be mentally unstable so you can’t serve in the military, but what is more mentally unstable than to want to be in the military serving combat duty? So you use saying you’re crazy as your defense for not-serving, but the military knows you’ll use it and therefore considers that you must be sane to try not to serve, so they ignore your insanity claim.

(Defined by Wikipedia as “A situation in which a desired outcome or solution is impossible to attain because of a set of inherently contradictory rules or conditions.”)

Which means that in this situation I do believe that there is an overview reason for all the chaos, but since I’m not privy to that level of knowing to declare what it is other than my guessing at it—which is what most religions do in their own unique ways, so any answer that I offer will sound eerily close to a theological argument—just slightly skewed because of my own beliefs.

Meaning my view of the OVERVIEW is not verifiable fact, it’s just a different flavor of belief.

And with that stated disclaimer, here goes:

To me it all comes down to whether or not you believe that life is intentional or accidental. Then that distills down into whether or not you believe there is such a thing as “an accident.”voltaire accident q.jpg

If there are no accidents, then everything is intentional and everything has a purpose and a reason for its existence and function in the world we recognize. We just may not know the purpose or reason for it.

Pardon me for this tangent, but I was just rereading some old Carlos Castaneda quotes this morning about the KNOWN, the UNKNOWN, and the UNKNOWABLE, time cc.jpgwhich tries to define the limits to our human comprehension ability. This description alludes to our limited ability to know or learn things that we previously did NOT know, which are represented by the UNKNOWN. Then there is the infinitely large category called the UNKNOWABLE, which is beyond our present human-existence context and our capability to comprehend.

We can’t get our arms around the UNKNOWABLE because it exists beyond our present frame of reference and mental capacity to make any sense of it or even to conceive of it.

To make my point here with no soothing reassurances what-so-ever: I do believe thatcastenada.jpg there is a reason for all the chaos and destruction happening in the world at present, as well as a reason for all the chaos and destruction that has ever occurred at any time in the recognizable history of the earth, BUT….it is likely a reason we cannot grasp with any certainty, or catalog definitively within the material-world parameters that we know.

So does my overview help to calm our fears and anxiety over the nasty situations many are experiencing world-wide?

Not in the slightest.

gods handWhich is the very real example of WHY religions grew in popularity over thousands and thousands of years of human existence—to make sense of the UNKNOWN and to speculate on the UNKNOWABLE, because it’s a pretty scary world out there if you’re on your own and you don’t have a group structure to support you.

Shared risk is shared relief.

And the knowledge we gain over the course of our lives only matters in how we use it.

I concede that some things are knowable, and to that I would say that the overview of catastrophic destruction is that it creates opportunity for change and revision—a clearing of the palate sort of thing for the next course of action.

The key point to consider is that the next course of action is truly up to each of us. How we react to chaos and devastation is how the next phase of our lives unfolds.

At present, whatever situation in which we find ourselves, no matter how horrific, simply IS. Our only choice is in how we acknowledge that fact and move forward to a better existence for ourselves and for everyone else in the world that we know, …if we can even define what that might be.

I’m not sure that I can define it other than it will likely be a shared goal, vilsack goals.jpgrather than a self-interested one.

I’ll go with that.

Being Honest with Oneself

A couple weeks ago I read a man’s revealing blog entry about how his world was suddenly upended by his loving wife dying from a fast-acting form of cancer. He wrote how he simply came apart after her death and spent the majority of his time tipping a bottle. What saved him, he said, was bottoming out, letting everything go, and being brutally honest with himself about every aspect of his past, present, and future without her.

While these words below (inspired by his article) are mine and not his, it was a powerful and hopeful message that needed to be shared—how he slowly rebuilt his life from the ground up by changing how he viewed his role in the process.  I’d like to list his url page of the article here for all to read it directly but unfortunately I can’t locate it again. Sorry. This fictional account is the best I can do.

***

Jack, my counselor, told me he had one rule, and that was to be honest in our talks. “Be honest?” I sneered back at him. The only truth I knew for certain was that I was still sinking in a tar pit of pain over my wife’s sudden illness and death that past year—I raged for half an hour at the unfairness of it all to both of us.  “You want REAL?” I told him, “THAT is very real to me—so there Jack, THAT is my being honest with you!”

My counselor then said to use that very real pain as the starting point to feeling what truth is for me—to use it as the gauge of honesty for every other aspect of my life to help determine what I expected from life in general, and even more importantly, what life might actually expect from me—which made no sense at all to me back then. “What LIFE expects from me?” I yelled, “Screw life! What did it ever do but give me more pain?”

He said that if I could just be honest with myself over what I truly felt for my wife before and after her illness, and allowed myself to feel the real depth of my loss over her death, then I could be honest about other parts of myself as well. That honesty, he said, would help me determine how I wanted to live the rest of my life.

The booze, he said, was keeping me from ‘feeling’ in general because if I never really let myself feel the pain, then I could never get past the pain to move on from there.

The court-required AA meetings helped because other addicts/alcoholics won’t let you lie about what you do or why you do it. They know. They’ve been there. They’ve said and done the same things, and they call you out on your stuff. You can’t hide it from them. You get that real fast. And I needed that.  I needed their truthfulness to help me uncover my own.

But I wouldn’t call those meetings support as much as I’d call it a mirror held up to your face that you can’t avoid.  There you are—twenty or so different versions of you—all gathered in one room sharing stories, shame, and self-loathing.  And there I was with a bunch of other people supposedly just like me—like being called by some other name to tell something similar to my story, like Jim or John or Lori, …or Frank or Jerry—but they were all different versions of me. “Same brand of ice cream, just a different flavor,” Jack said.

Well I didn’t like how that made me feel, so I told them about it. Said I didn’t belong there.

“Accept it,” they said. “We are alcoholics. You’re an alcoholic—lying is what you do, especially to yourself.  That’s who you are because that’s the most comfortable way to be—at least it always has been. Problem now is that even lying doesn’t work for you anymore.”

They were rough with me at times because I was so stuck in denial—claiming I was the victim here—why couldn’t they see that? One guy even pointed to me and said, “You want to keep seeing this same lying sack of shit staring back at you every time you look in the bathroom mirror? NO? Then change what you’re doing—change what you’re thinking. Because if you can’t accept the living proof of who and what you are sitting here all around you—if you can’t stand to think that you’ve been lying to yourself and to everyone you say you loved day after day for most of your life, then don’t expect your future to be any different. It’s your choice. YOUR choice, man!”

The “Your choice!” repeated over and over in their own stories. It’s always your choice. It’s your decision. “No one makes it but you,” they kept saying. “It isn’t really about life’s unfairness, or how much you miss your wife,” one of them told me. It was about being honest with myself about what I was feeling—what I still AM feeling about it all, and deciding if that’s what I want to feel in the future.

“If you can do that,” my counselor who led the group said, “if you can be honest with yourself, then you can pull yourself together and get on with your new life without the booze. But it’s really up to you.”

And as a parting shot, another guy who looked a lot like my sleezy Uncle Charlie, who was the last person in the world I ever wanted a lecture like this from, told me, “If you aren’t willing to help yourself buddy, don’t expect us to help you.”

Well, a couple years later I can tell you that it wasn’t easy by any means. Some days are still a struggle, but eventually I learned to view that past history of my previous self and life in a different way—what Jack called “in a more constructive manner”—one where I could refocus on how I had survived those painful life lessons, and use that survivor mentality to help me feel good about myself again, …which was far better than feeling so rotten all the time, where I simply wanted to numb myself into la-la land with the booze.

But maintaining the what Jack had named “lesson-filled, boot-camp view” of my previous life which he said I had successfully survived, was a difficult choice that I had to keep making day after day—sometimes every minute of the day for awhile, until I grew more comfortable in my new skin.

And getting to know this new me who thought and acted completely different from the old me, was the hardest part of it, because I finally realized that for 42 years I’d basically been doing nothing more than lying to myself, so I hardly knew what truth looked like, or even what being truthful felt like.

In fact the more I considered it, I’m not sure that I had ever been honest with anyone, let alone being honest with myself back then.

Was everything I’d said and done in my entire life a lie? If so, then wasn’t any part of it real? And what part of me was the real ME who was actually worth knowing? To figure that out, Jack tried to flip my mind again to see WHO it was that I wanted to become, to know how to get there. He said it was like creating an image of the new and better me that I would simply have to GROW into. But how could I do that?

Jack framed it to me this way: If I were the adult parent of a newborn ME ready to be introduced into this world full of challenges and wonders, what kind of parent would I truly need to be to successfully raise baby ME into a solid, well-balanced adult? Would I need a critical, demanding, drill sergeant constantly condemning ME and beating me down for my failings, or a nurturing, caring, coach continually encouraging my daily progress and raising me up to feel good about myself?

Not a tough choice, really. I didn’t need to feel any worse about myself than what I’d already been feeling.  What I needed was to feel more loved and supported than I had actually felt throughout most my childhood. Jack agreed. He said what I needed to help me succeed in my new life direction was my own loving guidance and support, not more self-condemnation.

Per Jack’s instructions, every morning now when I look in the bathroom mirror, I ask myself this question: “How are you going to encourage the best from that young kid in you today—how are you going to parent yourself to become a strong and loving person?”

Then I look right into my own eyes and say the words of a speech I’d memorized for doing this daily self pep-talk, “How can I express myself in more compassionate ways—in ways that other loving and caring people want to share in—ways that help them to recognize the goodness of my heart so they want to become more a part of my life?”

“How can I be a good person?”  I ask the ME staring back in all my imperfections. And that’s the goal I set for the day—every day—just trying to be a good person in some way—trying to help somebody or to do something nice for somebody else, because it makes me feel good when I can do that. And the more good I do for others, the better I feel about myself. Funny I know, but that’s how it is.

Well, as you can see, I’m still working on that goal of being a better person. But I wanted others to know that being honest with myself was a key to clearing out the garbage from my life. Think about it: You got to keep taking out the trash to keep from stinking up the house.

And if that ain’t being honest, …then I don’t know what is.

Moving Forward

2016.jpg

I’ve time-warped to Wednesday, November 9, 2016 and we have elected a new president to lead the nation for at least four years.

The task of that leadership is daunting—not easily accomplished by a single figure, male or female.

duties.jpg

In truth, the success of a nation and its people is never determined by one person, but that one individual known as The President of the United States of America has immense power to change millions of lives for the better or the worse, i.e.:

  • The use of nuclear weapons offensively or defensively, is a president’s prerogative.
  • Détente among world leaders is a determiner of cooperation and support for global policies.
  • Supportive alliances and multi-nation unity provide firm negotiating tactics for hot-spots around the world. NATO may not be perfect, but at present, it is the best we have.

Yes, on November 9th we will all be praying that change for all of us will be for the better.

We know by now there are no assurances that any policy or stance for or against an issue of importance will reap the benefits portrayed in an election campaign. Life just doesn’t play out that way.3 brances 2.png

And no matter what changes any President suggests or requests, it requires a Congress willing to support it, so there are things a President can do alone, but the majority of major changes need congressional support to enact and fund them. That’s just how federal governance is set up.

So when we all open our sleepy eyes on Wednesday, November 9th, there will be some very happy United States citizens and some not-too-happy ones. The largest challenge from November 9th onward is helping everyone to feel some degree of comfort with the election results and to find a way to make life better for everyone—even those who didn’t support the winning candidate.

That’s what it’s all about—how to make life safer, better and happier for everyone.

crayon2There are a lot more colors in the crayon box besides RED or BLUE. Let’s focus on the beauty of a multicolored pallet to paint a better and brighter future for all Americans.

I’m really tired of all the HATE lingo.

 

How about you?

Those Dissin’ “Chaos” Energies

(Pertinent repost from May 23, 2014)

Noticed a bit of discomfort lately in situations, relationships, and personal endeavors? It might be the malingering effects of the dysfunction-creating  “D’s”—those discombobulating chaos energiesdolphin waves rainbow we’re swimming in at present, with two of the most noticeable aspects being dissonance and disruption.

For those of us who are energy sensitive, we know the feel of these disturbing energies when you’re in them. Once-normal situations now seem tense and potentially explosive. People you normally associate with walk around frowny-faced and withdrawn, preferring to be left alone—with you being one of them.

Easy to tell that this isn’t a fun environment to be in or near; and that makes for yet another “D”—difficulties.

So what is going on in the world right now?

The likely culprits are some very weird energies coming in to the world at present, and those strange oceans of energy that we are all swimming in seem to be chaos energies. It’s easy to recognize chaos energies because they create lots of upheavals and uncertainties wherever they are present; resulting in all those previously mentioned “D’s,” which are so obvious right now whether at work, at home, communally or personally.

What is perhaps even more distracting is the sheer strength of these latest chaos energies which are straining relationships and creating sleepless nights for many of us who are so energy sensitive.

I asked a dear friend who is also a highly-intuitive energy-worker, for her take on what is happening because I was having a hard time getting a clear read for it myself, and she said it’s all about balancing the new energies coming in to our world at present—energies that are meant to be dissonant and disruptive to shake up the old systems—the old ways of operation—and create the opportunity for change: for both individual and world-wide change.

So if you find yourself immersed in this kettle of funky, murky energy that seems to keep stirring things hotter for you, maybe it’s time find a way to turn down the heat and let the situation cool a bit. Chill out. Walk away. Shift your focus for awhile.

As someone recently wrote, “Just because you’re invited to an argument, doesn’t mean you have to accept the invitation.”

But if these chaos energies continue to be so strong and continue to adversely affect us, perhaps we need to learn how to handle these powerfully disruptive energies in more calm and constructive ways, to prevent all those “D’s” from leading to one more: disaster.

If there was ever a time to learn how to hold your own center and keep your cool in adverse situations, this is it.  So my suggestion is to meditate more and spend some quality time in nature doing vigorous activities to burn off that excess energy flooding our energy fields at present; and by all means, simply relax….just relax. Sit back and take it easy for awhile.

These energies will shift again in a few weeks, and hopefully they will be more pleasant and nurturing by then. Just try to use these present disruptive-energy aspects to clear things from your life that have long needed to be cleared, but for some reason, you just couldn’t let them go.

Try again! I bet in these energies you CAN let them go now!

ImageClean out the basement or the garage, stack the trash bins full of all that old “stuff” you’ve accumulated and kick it to the curb. That’s what these energies are good for: Clearing out the old to make room for the new.

The Chinese kanji representing “Chaos” means many things. But the greatest positive effect it represents is the “Opportunity for Change.”  And that’s the whole point of this present world-wide energy scenario: CHANGE.

Flushing

It was so fitting—so appropriate for the energies of this time period that we are presently experiencing.

money flush.jpgA few days ago our toilet backed up when flushed sending instant panic through me as I watched the water rising ever closer to the bowl rim.  Luckily it stopped before overflowing, but those are the moments when you realize how instantly susceptible to life’s little surprises you can be.

Risking the “too-much-information” explanation, I will say that those of us in rural areas tend to have septic tanks buried out beyond the house perimeter to contain and disperse waste waters, rather than using a city’s sewer lines to which most folks are accustomed.

And those of us who DO have septic tanks know that after a few years of usage, those tanks need to be pumped out (also fortunately there are companies that do that particular septic-tank servicing). Once the storage tank is pumped out, it usually takes care of the “toilet won’t flush” problem.

drain lines.jpgBut occasionally, there are those property owners who can tell horror stories of what happens when their septic-tank, water-drainage lines plug up and have to be re-dug.

Yes, in essence the drain-line trenching firm “reams you a new one,” both financially in your pocket book and aesthetically across your carefully-manicured property. It looks like giant moles invaded your yard digging huge, mounded tunnels extending a hundred feet in three different directions.

Or as I will call it: “Welcome to my Monday.”

But even as the trencher grinds away out there spitting our carefully-coiffured grass into unbreakable clods and large dirt piles, I can’t help but recognize the metaphor playing out before my eyes:  Sometimes our energy bodies are so built up with energy blockages and stagnant memories/emotional triggers that we have a hard time releasing those things that no longer serve us. We have a hard time “letting go” of the wastes that we need to flush out of our minds and our lives.

Right now throughout the world, these are the “blockage-clearing” energies that we are energy cleaned.pngexperiencing globally, regionally, and personally. We’re all energetically getting our pipes cleaned and our drain lines reamed.  And it isn’t usually pleasant to have this done either mentally or physically, but it NEEDS to be done so we can eliminate the toxins from our lives.

The good news is that energetically, this cosmic purifying/purging phase won’t last forever; and that eventually once the wastes are finally gone, we can reset our lives in a new and more productive direction—preparing us for the next adventure, or exciting discovery, or educational experience that helps us to grow in awareness and to evolve in understanding.

new day.JPGBecause that’s the true advantage that proper “flushing” provides us: It gives us a clean, fresh start for the next phase of our lives.

 

Or as I also will soon call it: “Hello Tuesday.”

Changes

toggle.jpgWelcome to life—where the only antidote for stagnation is change—where the only prospect for difference is in letting go of sameness.

It is also where the only possibility for personal growth is in facing down the unknown stretching out before you.

Change is being constantly in motion.  That’s just how it is—from birth to death and beyond—we are continually evolving in awareness and understanding; and more importantly, we are changing some aspect of what we do, how we think, and where we look for answers to our life’s questions.

With springtime in the northern hemisphere as a major harbinger of change, let’s consider why change is so important to us individually.

  • Avoiding stagnation:

Who wants to be a stagnant pool where drain water collects little other than mosquito larvae?  Isn’t it better to allow for water flow and ample clearance of everything your little basin has been catching? The same holds true for our mental and emotional beings. Change allows us to clear out the old accumulated residues from our lives, and to refresh and reset ourselves for whatever challenge might lie ahead of us.

  • Providing growth incentive: watts change.jpg

“Growth” is one of those obscure terms that implies a positive outcome, but it usually comes at the cost of surmounting some degree of difficulty along the way.  In truth, if every aspect of our lives played out day by day exactly as they always have in the past, then we would cease to be amazed at not only the newness and freshness that each day provides us, but also at our own abilities to utilize our inner resources in pushing past a minor inconvenience in our path, or our ability to continually plow through life’s major challenges whenever they arise.

  • Testing our metal:

Life is a testing ground—no doubt about it.   How would you know what you are capable of achieving if you never had the opportunity to pit yourself against a challenge? How strong is your will to survive a life-threatening situation? How resilient is your resolve to keep moving forward through the darkest night and the densest undergrowth pulling at your feet?  How determined can you be to keep pushing onward when your strength is spent and your mind foggy—when sheer determination is the only thing standing between your success or your failure in this life?

What it really comes down to is how would you know any of those answers if you have never had the chance to experience an opportunity for change?

celestial pathI think one of the greatest learning situations we will ever experience is where we meet others along our life’s path and while moving past them, we look into their eyes and surprisingly see ourselves in them.

That very situation is the CHANGE in viewpoint most conducive to realizing our group interconnectedness and our shared intentions.

I also believe that is the very CHANGE we are experiencing most right now on a global scale.

In essence, change is simply seeing the world through the same eyes but with a new perspective—a shared perspective.

While sameness may be the comfortable illusion that we might choose to believe, change is the reality we must learn to celebrate.

CHANGE—it’s what’s happening now.