King James Bible: 1 Corinthians 13:11
“When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a (wo)man, I put away childish things.”
My personal beliefs have evolved over the years, from what I was first taught as an impressionable, wanting-to-please-others child to my present state of open consideration for the mystical qualities of everything existing around me.
I have gone from believing what I was first told during my earliest comprehension of the world to now believing what I see, feel, hear, taste, smell, and inherently KNOW for myself about my immediate environment and my seeming relationship to it.
Throughout my life I might have been what a few perplexed others politely termed a “seeker of knowledge”—a “seeker” of how the world really is—a “seeker” of my true place in that world—a “seeker” of a tribe to belong to and to share with my newly-found, intuitive truths.
I’ve even been (and still am) a “seeker” of TRUTH itself, because as I grew in years, I was ever more certain that what we all were being daily force-fed by others was NOT truth—it was just someone else’s interpretation of TRUTH. And those interpretations of truth were often tainted by the life-experiences of the interpreter, or worse, tainted by the interpreter’s personal motivations for trying so hard to convince us that his particular religious decree was TRUTH—or far worse than that—trying to convince us that his was the-one-and-only-TRUTH for everyone.
Even as that constantly-questioning child, I could readily see the hypocrisy between the words and the actions of the parishioners attending church each Sunday—of the Sunday school teachers themselves—even of the preacher raising his voice and pounding his fist on the lectern or pointing his finger at the rest of us and calling us “sinners.”
To me that young sponge of budding awareness, being forced to sit there in that pew with those faux-pious people listening to that blunderbuss at the pulpit ranting and railing about our human weaknesses and frailties, just felt wrong, and I hated having to be there and being forced to listen to all of their histrionics and phoniness.
I didn’t realize back then as a child that I was a natural intuitive, besides being an empath—that means I could simply KNOW things and kinesthetically FEEL things about people and situations without knowing how I was doing it. But I did know that those knowings and feelings were usually pretty accurate.
What I also didn’t realize back then was that those two slowly developing abilities—my intuition and my kinesthetic sensing of discordant energy vibrations—were my natural “BULLSHIT” detectors, and when those BS warnings were triggered in my body, I became instantly distrusting of who or what might be creating that energy dissonance within me. That internal ‘BS buzz’ was an unpleasant feeling that I wished to avoid, so I often kept to myself in crowds unless I was near someone who resonated more purely and authentically. Authentic folks (the gentle person they show to you is who they really are), I felt more comfortable with but they were rare finds in my early life.
Now from my present age and experience base (especially my experience as an energy practitioner), I more readily understand what was occurring back then with the ‘BS buzz,’ and can better appreciate my own early stubbornness at refusing to be brainwashed into the beliefs of others that did not resonate harmoniously with me.
Early in life I was once shy and kept to myself, but I’m no longer shy because I better understand what is really happening when I’m around other people now. I can better protect my own energy boundaries and prevent myself from picking up the vibrational dissonance in other’s energy fields if I’m near them.
And yes, I can still detect people’s lies and half-truths when I hear them, but I’m less concerned about being personally contaminated by their opinions and beliefs—because I need not continue to be around them or listen to them spewing it. I simply push an internal “MUTE” button for those folks and walk away.
Like the Bible verse above—the Bible I seldom, if ever, quote: I put away those childish insecurities of needing to be liked and needing to be a part of the accepted group of popular opinion and belief.
I became a self-empowered woman.
And I stand quite well on my own now.
More importantly, so can you!