Who are you? Who am I?
Does it matter who we actually are?
Not sure in one sense, but I am sure that it matters who we believe ourselves to be, because that is the defining subconscious program used for our auto-reactive behaviors.
I’m writing about this subject because I just listened to Kaypacha’s latest astrology report of “dying to our old self” which I will list if anyone wants to hear it: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d3w5diSVxCY&feature=youtu.be&fbclid=IwAR3XCCveJbdIsyVgIOnWqJQvdsKObh6osPnZpFf64wkfXgwp4G4ZQFt16fA )
Here are the more important points (to me) that I gleaned from it:
“Our childhood gives us patterns, conditions, insecurities, fears that are challenging—(they are) blockages. It is no mistake that few of us remember not only our past lives, but details of our first 3-5 years (of age). This is an automatic psycho-spiritual survival mechanism. We are so sensitive coming out of that womb. Vulnerable, open, unformed baby just emerging (into the environment) and into the energy around you. ….A lot of things happen to us (at that vulnerable time) that we suppress. We suppress the hurts, the wounds, the sadness, the grief, the losses, the fears that we felt in these early childhood years when we were beat up, or stepped on, or ignored, or neglected…”
(Next part is paraphrased here) The world around you hits you all at once in your blank-slatedness—and some things that affect you early in your explorations of life are pleasant and make you feel good, but other things are NOT pleasant about those earliest experiences; and the NOT pleasant things during early brain formation from baby first emerging into the world until we develop that cause/effect reasoning at 3-5 years of age, are often the suppressed memories of early childhood that have affected us surreptitiously.
Those memories were so deeply buried that when something in the present happens adversely affecting us, we may react strongly with no visible basis for that reaction; meaning we can’t seem to match our automatic reaction to the affecting incident with a rational context for doing so. Or in another example, we can’t see a reason for the discomfort we suddenly feel when walking into a room, or a rational reason for the deep-seated fear that might erupt in us over something in our present that seems to be so innocuous or innocent to others.
“None of us were born into the perfect reality—the perfect family. And yet the early taboo is that ‘thou shalt honor thy father and thy mother’ where it’s not cool (allowed) for the child to hate or blame the parents for (the behavior s/he is experiencing from them).”
(Paraphrased) So if we, the child, think that if the parents can’t be to blame for his/her serious discomfort back then, then it must be US. What’s wrong with me? Why don’t they love me? Why are they treating me like this? I must be bad. I must be unlovable. They can’t be wrong because they are the parents—so I must be wrong to feel what I’m feeling.
But in truth this present astrological time period that we are in, is the time to look closely at those suppressed early-childhood feelings and expose them for what they really are.
We need to honor our true feelings. Honor our inner child without being judgmental about why that child felt what s/he did at the time. Honestly acknowledge that we are truly feeling what we presently feel, and allow ourselves to be who we truly are, despite who we may erroneously believe that we are. Only after this careful self-assessment can we then shed our old skin to be the NEW being that moves onward from this day forward—leaving our old skin behind in the tall grass as evidence that we were once there, but we aren’t there any longer. We have chosen to move on with our lives.
Then from that place of honest reassessment for valid reasoning existing for your suppressed childhood feelings, you have to leave the ‘old you’ behind and nurture that NEW ‘baby-YOU’ into the person that you want to become with you as the loving parent that you may not have previously experienced. You must let go of the old behavior patterns that you developed for whatever reason you once believed helped you to survive your past, and now choose a new mode of operation that matches your new vision for your life.
He says that this is the time of ‘karmic return’ for all of us—meaning what you have put out previously into the world around you is now coming back in your face. It’s time to deal with your old behavior patterns—especially if they are not working well for you in the present. Example being: If your life partner is saying ‘Stop doing this or that because it hurts me and it hurts us.’ Then they are really saying to you: “Look at your stuff—you are making a mess here—stop doing that!”
So again I ask: Does it matter who we really are?
Yes, it definitely does.