Worth and worthiness are similar yet different, but why you would have to prove either of them is far more interesting.
Worth implies “value”—such as, what is your value to a company, to a situation, to others near you, or even to yourself?
But worthiness implies “deserve-ability”—how much do you deserve to be valued?
The latter consideration is far more subjective and judgmental, than actual.
For instance, let’s say you are in late-stages of hiring consideration for a particular job. Despite how negotiable you might believe your future salary to be, Human Resources in most companies have already defined the payment range allowed for that particular job title in that region of the country. They already know what they expect and are willing to pay for that new hire.
When a company considers hiring new staff for any position within that company, HR and management already have a pay-grade allowance defined for the next hire, and they usually hire low on the scale, rather than high. To be offered additional incentives beyond that pre-existing financial determination would be unusual and denote extraordinary circumstances to “merit” such consideration.
At that point, they would go beyond considering your “worth” to the company. They would also consider your worthiness to be given special consideration and additional financial rewards. What makes YOU so special that you deserve that additional financial consideration?
In this situation, to the hiring company your worthiness of special consideration then trumps your recognized worth to them.
What does it mean to you?
Well, beyond all the management-speak above, it may mean your “special consideration” depends on how well you can sell yourself and your abilities to deliver what that company most wants and needs from you.
Or it might mean how extensive and substantial your track record for doing the job already is.
Or it might even mean how much do you value yourself and your time that you might consider selling your efforts for less than you know that you deserve?
In general, women tend to undervalue themselves, and men tend to overvalue themselves. So it often comes down to self-respect and self-appreciation issues within the person. HR departments are well aware of women’s more vulnerable self-value issues.
That doesn’t mean that any candidate is unworthy of special consideration, but it does mean that their “worthiness” to the company is dependent on a number of factors including self-appreciation issues.
In relationships, it plays out in a different way. Consider your significant other or friend to be like the HR manager of the hiring company. Throughout the duration of your relationship they are assessing you for your worth and worthiness to be associated with them, but here, your worth means your value to them—how they consider you in relation to filling their personal needs and wants.
But your worthiness in this situation is not really theirs to consider, it is totally dependent on you!
In a relationship with anyone, you should not have to sell yourself—you should simply have to BE YOURSELF.
Likewise, track-records mean little to nothing in relationships because the choice is yours to learn from your previous mistakes or to continue making them. Just don’t expect a different result if you keep making the same mistakes.
The self-appreciation aspect is absolutely KEY in any relationship, because if you don’t value yourself and support yourself in whatever endeavor you do undertake, then don’t expect the other person to pick up the slack and indefinitely keep feeding your neediness for external support. It just won’t happen. Emotional support neediness gets old fast in any relationship.
If you can’t fully believe in yourself and respect yourself despite your perceived imperfections, don’t expect anyone else to do so. That’s not how the world works and it’s not how you are meant to function.
You have to be your own best friend and your most ardent supporter, whether it is in the workplace, in the classroom, or in the home. Your true self-worth and worthiness are never in doubt. You deserve the best possible life and the best possible friends and close associations. Don’t settle for less than that.
Believe in yourself—value yourself. If others aren’t yet seeing your worth to them, then it is THEIR blindness, because your true value is already established.
But if you doubt your “worthiness” to be loved and valued by others, then that’s totally on you not them.
Then it isn’t their blindness that you need to be concerned with. It’s your own.